100 Things About Moi (Part Two)

Part two of my 100 Things About Myself. See previous post for first 50.

51. I desperately wish I could still have a cat, but my husband is extremely allergic. We tried getting some kittens once, but my husband couldn’t breathe after a while. So I reluctantly gave the kittens back.
52. I type ridiculously quickly, which contributes to my long-winded-ness on my blog. It’s almost as fast as talking.
53. I met my husband exactly 13 years and one day ago—on February 11th, 1995. A group of my high school friends decided to go the Sweethearts dance in a group, instead of getting dates. When the night came around, we were short a couple guys. So Drew said, "Maybe Josh would want to go. I doubt it, but I'll call him and see." The rest is history.
54. I love to read good literature. I remember in high school being surprised at how much I enjoyed the book “Candide.” I thought it would be impossible to understand since it’s so old.
55. I had an entire class in college about how to persuade people to do what you want. It was rather Machiavellian, but it was an awesome class. It was called “Rhetorical Methods.”
56. Don’t worry. I don’t use the principles I learned in “Rhetorical Methods” on a day-to-day basis. I can’t even convince my own kids to brush their teeth usually.
57. I have actually said, “You can’t have cake until you finish your root beer!” or “No more ice cream until you finish your candy!” or similar things. Whenever I hear that coming out of my mouth, I really question my sanity as a parent.
58. I love road trips. Hot sun beating down on my skin, hundreds of miles of sage brush, dirty gas station bathrooms…. Good times, good times.
59. I really wish I could remember the name of this guy I met in an LDS chat room about 12 years ago. John … something. I think. We were NOT romantically involved—he was just a very interesting human being and I’d like to know what he’s done with his life since then.
60. I hate feeding my kids breakfast.
61. I hate feeding my kids lunch.
62. I hate feeding my kids dinner.
63. I hate changing diapers.
64. I hate potty training.
65. I hate crayon on the walls.
66. I hate temper tantrums.
67. I adore my children.
68. I rarely wore pastel pink until I met my husband. I wanted to fit into his family and started to wear pink like they did.
69. Once I realized how pathetic that is, I stopped wearing pink for them and started wearing pink because I actually like to be girlie sometimes.
70. I think life is all about contradictions. My favorite Comms Theory chapter was about "Cognitive Dissonance." It's fascinating.
71. I currently own two pairs of high heels, and two pairs of Crocs. I also have one pair of boots that I never wear. My passion for shoes is, as of yet, unfulfilled.
72. I wore my boots last Saturday.
73. I think Crocs are the ugliest shoes ever invented, but also the comfiest.
74. I hate talking to friends on the phone.
75. I love talking to friends online or in person.
76. I adore my friends from high school: Marissa, I miss you so much since you went to Boston! Craig, I need to have you around more often so I can get my weekly dose of laughter! Rochelle, I’m glad we’ve rediscovered how much we have in common! Alysa, you are one of the strongest people I know—don’t shortchange yourself. Cockroach, I’m glad our friendship survived dating each other because you make me laugh when Craig's not around. Ryan, I think it’s awesome that you ended up at MIT and I miss being able to hang out with you and Marissa. James, where would my board game life be without you?? YoungM, remember how we used to go practice ballroom dancing late at night? Linda, isn’t it great that we discovered cousins could be best friends? Karen & Paul, I’m so glad you’re living close again and I wish we got together more often! Herrick, your smile is contagious and I can't be unhappy when you're around!
77. I took one ballroom dance class and I’ve been in mourning ever since it was over.
78. When people tell me I sing well, I’m not sure if I believe them or not. I have my good days and my bad days and haven’t discovered my own personal style yet.
79. My voice teacher thinks I’d be well-suited to opera, but how practical is that? Most people I know hate hearing that style of music unfortunately.
80. I have a really, really loud singing voice so it’s almost impossible to sing in my ward choir. I can hardly get any sound out at all when I’m trying to blend in quietly. It’s pathetic and frustrating.
81. My singing range is super fun. I can sing a low alto or high soprano or anything in between. I feel blessed to be able to have fun with whatever songs I like.
82. I took violin lessons and ballet lessons when I was in elementary school.
83. I’ve always been afraid of failure so I always exit on my own terms—I chickened out of violin and ballet both and have since regretted running away since I love music and I love dance.
84. I stick with singing partially because I don’t want to be a quitter anymore.
85. I loved 80’s and 90’s alternative rock when I was younger: New Order, Depeche Mode, U2, the B-52s, Pet Shop Boys, etc. I still have some of those albums but rarely listen to them anymore.
86. I felt betrayed when U2 finally released a new album in the early 90's. It was such a departure from what I had worshiped in the past that I stopped listening to U2 for years.
87. When I was in junior high, I had a huge crush on Larry Mullen Jr. (drummer from U2), Morrissey and Chris Isaak.
88. I’m a reality TV junkie. I enjoy The Amazing Race, Supernanny, American Idol, The Apprentice, etc. I don’t like Survivor or Big Brother or trashy reality shows. The Amazing Race is my favorite and the other ones are guilty pleasures. I used to look down on people who watched reality TV.
89. I often agree with Simon on American Idol. “Simply dreadful!” or “You really surprised us tonight. Well done.”
90. My son was angry this morning when he saw a plate with crumbs and sugar on it—“What was this?!?!?” (See previous post about thank yous.) I didn’t want to tell him the cookies were put away in a Tupperware, because he hadn’t even had breakfast yet. So I tolerated him saying, “That was NOT nice, Mommy!!” He’ll be thrilled later when the cookies are revealed.
91. I could have simply said, “You can have a cookie later, Joseph,” but I was too busy dealing with sick twins who were making a ruckus, so I wasn’t thinking clearly.
92. I love being the primary secretary, but I’ve really fallen down on the job lately, which I need to turn around.
93. My sister, Kristin, and I love IKEA. My brother hates IKEA: “It’s so cheap!” he says. ... “Yeah,” I retort. “That’s why people LIKE it!”
94. I have had three pregnancies, three children, one set of twins and one miscarriage. Did that make sense?
95. Every time I wear makeup to church, people say, “Wow, you look nice today. Are you losing weight?” I don’t want to go into the whole, “No, it’s just that the illusion of having cheekbones makes my face look thinner” so I just thank them and say, “Yes, I have lost a little bit of weight recently.” It’s easier that way and I really have lost a little bit of weight.
96. When I put the twins in “time out” in their room, they cheer because it just means they’ll go tear the bedding off and jump on the mattress.
97. I need to think of a more effective time out.
98. I loooove being organized, but when my organization system gets off balance, I throw up my hands and let the whole house get cluttered until I’m in a fit of organization again. My husband HATES this about me!
99. My idea of a happy holiday would be about a week at home without the kids so I could declutter, then organize and then deep clean the house. I can fantasize, can’t I?
100. If you’ve read this far, I should write you a thank you note and send you a congratulatory gift. I’m not sure if that means you’ve won or not.

Lately people have been copping out on the "tags" by saying, "Anybody who wants to do this, do it!" That is a good plan, because nobody will be offended by being left off the list. So I'll keep up the tradition. Can you think of 100 things about yourself that you'd like to share with every creepy sex offender and pervert on the internet that might randomly navigate to your site? Then go get writing!

100 Things About Moi (Part One)

I got "tagged" to write 100 things about myself by my friend Amy. Thanks, Amy! I've been thinking about doing this for a while, but never worked up enough motivation. Since I'm ultra-long-winded, I'm doing this in two installments. Here are the first 50.

1. My middle name is “Hacker” … well, almost. It is “Hacken” and looks like Hacker if I write it sloppily.
2. Both of my two sisters went to Ivy League colleges. I am fairly certain I could have too, but I felt strongly that I was supposed to go to BYU. I’m sad that I missed a really intense academic experience, but I’m glad I have zero student debt.
3. I had a full scholarship to college and only had to pay half tuition (because my dad works there.) BYU reimbursed the other half and paid me to attend college!
4. My oldest sister is an Egyptologist and has lived in Egypt twice.
5. I dream of going on a Mediterranean cruise with my oldest sister, so she can act as tour guide in Egypt. I want to enjoy the French Riviera, Italy, Greece, Egypt and some mellow days cruising the Mediterranean with a good book.
6. I am the youngest child in my family.
7. I am the youngest child of a youngest child of a youngest child.
8. I am also the youngest daughter of a youngest daughter of a youngest daughter.
9. It’s not looking too good to continue that legacy, since I have three sons.
10. My Mom has 6.9 grandchildren—six grandsons and one grandson on the way. No granddaughters.
11. My other sister has flown on the Disney jet with the leaders of Pixar.
12. My brother-in-law works for Google, which is pretty much the awesomest.
13. My other brother-in-law is a psychology professor at BYU and has studied a lot about Autism, which is also pretty cool.
14. The oldest sibling in my family died before turning three, from meningitis. My Mom put him to bed with a fever, thinking she’d take him to the doctor in the morning. He never woke up.
15. I never met my “oldest” brother, Dougie, but I really miss him anyway.
16. My dad is an award-winning poet and has translated other literary works into English.
17. My Mom was frustrated when she moved to Utah because of inadequate school options for her smart kids, so she helped put together the “Accelerated Learning Lab” programs in Alpine School District.
18. I’ve had several neighbors who were in the ALL programs and it always makes me happy to hear their good experiences.
19. My Mom was my 5th grade teacher.
20. My parents were divorced when I was in elementary school.
21. My step-mother is from Transylvania! So far, no signs of vampire tendencies. Just really good cooking.
22. I was relieved to change my name when I got married. “Hacken” sounds like you are coughing up something wet and green.
23. I’m glad my brother is having a boy, so the Hacken name will continue another generation.
24. My sister-in-law is a vice principal and I’m so glad she decided to take a chance on my brother. ;)
25. My brother is the only one without a college degree but makes more money than the rest of us combined. Probably.
26. Since I live with a husband and three sons, I’m WAY out of touch with my girlie side. I get a little giddy when I go to the mall and look at high heels sometimes.
27. I’m a sucker for shoes and jackets, but I rarely indulge in buying them these days.
28. I’m proud to be a tightwad.
29. I’m very loyal to Toyota cars. I honestly can’t understand why Ford and Chevy are still in business.
30. I admit that I own one American-made car, a Saturn which is decrepit and broken down. (Huh… Maybe I learned my lesson.)
31. If anybody wants a broken down Saturn, let me know. It goes to the top bidder. (“Do I hear 50 cents? Let’s make it a dollar. Two dollars? Come on, folks. This is 100% Made in America!”)
32. I’m way too verbose in my writing.
33. That’s a nice way of saying I’m long-winded.
34. I worry that I’m a bore because of #32 and #33.
35. I’m very loyal to my friends.
36. Even when somebody hurts me, I have a hard time thinking ill of them. It’s a blessing and a curse.
37. I think charity is the most desirable of all spiritual attributes.
38. I majored in Communications Studies in college—I almost majored in Advertising or Public Relations, but Comms Studies ended up a better fit. I sort of wish I’d done PR though.
39. I have owned two businesses.
40. One was desktop publishing—I did custom design work once for a CD cover, but mostly sold stickers to BYU, Deseret Book and the Missionary Training Center.
41. I got bored with that business because it ended up in the boring details of accounting, packaging and delivery. What I liked was the creative design work.
42. I dream of working at an ad agency’s creative department someday.
43. My other business was making movies for LDS children. That business was awesome, but it dissolved before we finished.
44. The reasons it dissolved are too complicated to explain, but I don’t think that my becoming pregnant with twins helped anything.
45. I was a computer science teacher right after college—despite having no formal training in computer science or teaching.
46. I accepted the job right before finding out I was pregnant with my first child.
47. I only stayed a semester because my pregnancy was not going well and my doctor told me I had a good chance of being put on bed rest.
48. It was good that I left when I did because I did eventually get put on bed rest.
49. When I was in kindergarten, I found a stray, hurt cat. We took him in and named him “Bastet.” Can you guess which of my sisters named him?
50. Bastet would come cuddle with me when I cried. I was heartbroken when he died.

Thank Yous!

I'm sort of OCD about thanking people sometimes. I always smile and say "Thank You" to the people who bag my groceries. Or check me out. Or answer a question at the store. Etc. It may be a bit over the top at times, but it's a nice quirk to have.

The only problem is when somebody does something nice for me anonymously and then I feel like I obsessively have to thank them but cannot because I don't know who to thank!

Which all leads up to this:



THANK YOU to whichever fabulous friend left these on our porch. I hope I didn't scare you half to death when I opened the door right after you knocked. I was sitting in the front room! ;)

Book Talk :: The Mathematics of Love

The Mathematics of Love
by Emma Darwin

Movies have ratings. TV shows have ratings. Music and video games are even rated sometimes. All for the shocking purpose of warning consumers away from things they are likely to find offensive.

If only books had a similar rating system. It might go like this:

S -- Smutty
F -- Frequently Foul Language
Po -- Poorly Written
I -- Incredibly bad or nonexistent plot
Pr -- Pretentious use of Austen-era dialogue that totally misses the mark
B -- Badly conceived, badly delivered
E -- Emotionless, while trying to provoke the most intense of emotions

I could go on. But I've been trying to stifle my sarcastic streak. Ahem. If such a rating system existed, The Mathematics of Love by Emma Darwin would be plastered with all of the above warnings. I picked it up on a whim because I wanted a new book to read and I happened to be standing in a bookstore. Makes sense to buy a book, no?

The one I wanted to buy (Sunday Philosopher's Club by Alexander McCall Smith) was sold out. Perhaps I should have made the connection between a very popular and well-written book being sold out... and a table full of unwanted books that they were trying to con people into buying. Sucker. I fell for it. It looked promising so I bought it. Never again!

This book was so boring at most points that I had trouble keeping my brain focused enough to follow the slowly plodding plot. I found myself distracted by Dora the Explorer--Dora for pete's sake! If that's not sad, I don't know what is.

I almost didn't post the title on this blog, lest somebody get curious and actually buy it themselves. Then they would come to ME complaining about my reading habits. This book had no redeeming qualities that I can remember. It used controversy to shock--by which I mean, they threw in all sorts of plot elements that added nothing to the plot but were very modern and and edgy. It included a love triangle between an old man, his live-in-bisexual-partner-for-life and a 16-year-old girl. I think I'm gonna go vomit.

It included verbal abuse. Emotional abuse. Physical abuse. Sexual abuse. It had romantic encounters so thoroughly portrayed that I blushed as I tried to skim past them. Complete smut.

I can put up with edgy elements to a story if they are put in the proper light and show the true duality of human nature. I can handle the fact that this world ain't always pretty. But this was just cheap entertainment of the worst kind. It is an insult to Jane Austen that the author read Emma to try to get a feel for the dialogue of the day. The dialogue sounded forced and out of place.

I could go on, mostly because I need to expel the nastiness of reading this book from my mind. But for now I'll summarize by saying this is the first book I can remember actually throwing in the garbage can.

Grade :: F

My apologies to Emma Darwin, great-granddaughter of the Famous Darwin. If you're reading this, you have every right to mutter, "Bloody American! What does she know!"

Analyze This { & Let's Connect! }

A few months back, I recommended Google Reader as a great way to keep track of blogs. That's a great resource for people who read blogs.

If you love to blog yourself, try this: Google Analytics. For the casual blogger like myself, who has earned a whopping $30 total from AdSense, Analytics is just a fun toy to play with. It tells you where your traffic is coming from, how many people visit your site daily, what they look at and how long they spend. (Although that last one is extremely unreliable from my experience.)

It tells you fun stuff like what keywords people typed into Google to find your blog. My most common one, consistently, is "Book Thief Quotes" or "Quotes from the Book Thief." However, the more random and amusing ones from the last month include:

1. Can frosting be frozen for later use?
2. are there true that love is all about beauty?
3. sabucol
4. there is beauty all around
5. 7 confessions austrian celebrities
6. bhl blah
7. chokecherry tree chill
8. costco owned by mormon
9. difficult mormon mothers
10. flashback thinking the brain
11. hot young living mom
12. i hate being a mormon mom
13. lds vanilla extract
14. lucky 7 blog
15. mormon wedding night (folllowed closely by:)
16. mormon dirty secrets
17. psychology and unopened gifts
18. roast wrap in plastic wrap
19. the lds ugly animals
20. umcka and fda

Huh. Makes you think, doesn't it? That was my most unusual 20 from the 130 search terms used to find this blog. I have no idea what sabucol or umcka are. #2 up there didn't even make sense to me. At all.

So if for nothing else, Analytics is always good for a laugh or two. Maybe a good snort when you see how people found your site through Google. Go sign up and enjoy. Email me if you have any questions about how to add the code to blogger.

p.s. My very loud children make the telephone even more antiquated than it already was. If you use Google Talk, add me to your list so we can chat! Leave a message here if you don't have my email address and I'll figure out a way to get it to you. I'm also (sadly enough) connected to Windows Messenger, ICQ, and Yahoo IM nearly all the time through Trillian. It's how I stay connected, so if you have an IM client, let's connect!

Irresistible

I just walked into the kitchen in time to hear Thomas say (into a mirror) (to himself), "Hilo! I'm Mr. Tom!"

Doesn't get much cuter than that.

At a Loss

I have no idea what to do on days like today.

I feel sick. Not so sick that I can't function: just sick enough to feel like crud. Like I want to be laying in bed with a good book and some pain relievers in my system. Sick enough that I'd love to have somebody fussing over me, asking what I need. Just sick enough that serving breakfast to my kids was an accomplishment, and the idea of cleaning up the mess afterward is somewhat farcical.

It's just one of those days.

If I didn't have kids, I'd be in the bathtub, which is great for aches and pains. I'd be reading one of my three new books that I recently bought. Or one of the other books that I haven't finished yet.

If I was working full-time (...outside the home...) I'd either go in to work or call in sick. Black and white, ya know? Either I'm there or I'm not. But I don't work outside the home and I do have kids. They're young kids. They can't change their own diapers. They would be happy to serve themselves meals but I'm not willing to risk the likely stomach aches and definite mess. I can't just get in the bath. I can't just flop on the bed. I have to be here. But I feel like crud.

I think this is the single most frustrating aspect of being a stay-at-home Mom: how do I care for myself when I need to care for myself but simply cannot care for myself?

Super Bowl :: The Important Stuff

The best thing about this year's Super Bowl ads were the witty commentaries about them on the TIME article I read. But here are a few that made me chuckle. Enjoy.

Garmin


Planters Cashews
Okay, this is not that attractive or unique but it still made me snort. Mission accomplished.


Pixar: Wall*E
Looking forward to seeing this!


Coke
I may not drink it, but this was a fun commercial.


Tide-to-Go
I thought was one of the most effective. Plus, it was entertaining.


FedEx
My favorite of the ones I saw


Firestone
Only good for the little, wee scream of an insect.

Prophetic Names

I have this thing about names. It's just a personal thing. I want to name my kids after people who were really solid role models. So later in life, I can talk to my kids about how great their namesake is and how they should strive to be like them.

My oldest is Joseph Enoch. Both great Bible names.

My youngest (by one minute) is Elijah Benjamin. More solid Bible names.

Both Joseph and Elijah are prophet's names from the Bible. Joseph is also the name of a Latter-day prophet, Joseph Smith. So we're looking at some pretty solid footing here.

Then you get to my middle child (older than Elijah by one minute): Thomas. Yes, it is a Bible name, but not exactly one that is the MOST solid role model. He's known more frequently as "Doubting Thomas." Without going into the details and looking at both sides, I think we can agree that it's not quite as strong a role model as JOSEPH or ELIJAH. Right?

Until you consider his full name. Thomas Spencer.

Today, my son's name finally fits his brothers'. Thomas Spencer Monson was announced as the new president of the LDS church--recognized by LDS faithful worldwide as a prophet and seer. We didn't name our Tommy for Doubting Thomas. We named him for the man that we knew would be recognized as a prophet someday: little Tommy Monson.

{photos by Heather Clark Photography}

I Should Be A Criminal

Yesterday, an impromptu snowball fight broke out in the parking lot after church. Josh and I were not targets, since our "boring geeks" status is too well established. But it didn't stop Josh from forming a large, perfect, white snowball. And it didn't stop me from taking it out of his hands and lobbing it at the person standing nearby.

When the snowball landed, he turned around with a surprised look to see who had thrown it. I smiled guiltily. He kept looking around. He didn't believe I had thrown it.

I guess that's the perk of living a quiet, boring, geeky life. If I ever turned to a life of crime, I'd have the world's best witness for the defense: all the quiet, dull years prior.

Delusions of Crafteur

I'm not crafty.

Unless you mean in the sneaky way. Otherwise, only in my dreams. But for some reason, Valentine's Day brings out the would-be crafter in me. Last year I made some icky, ugly Valentine's Day cards and sent them to friends and family. Nobody laughed at me, which I greatly appreciated.

This year, I got inspired by Martha Stewart Living, which I'd picked up for some layout inspiration when I was doing my article. I found two crafts that looked perfect for me: easy peasy & cute.

Reminder to self: I'm not crafty. I forgot for a few minutes.

Anyway, here are the pictures of Martha's professional versions:

Exhibit A : Heart-Covered Wax Paper

Exhibit B : Felt Fortune Cookies

And here are how mine turned out. The great thing about a blog is that I can't hear you all laughing at me:

This is BEFORE Joseph crinkled it up and made it even more "textured."

This is the most generous shot I could get of the fortune cookies. The wire stuck out and wouldn't stay below the ribbon. But it would be very cool if I get the right kind of glue and whatnot. And even funner, Joseph and I made each other little valentines to go inside, made from little cut up hearts:

Thomas the Tank Toddler

I'm in the habit of letting my kids wear their pajamas as long as they want to, which means the kids are often still in pajamas when Dad gets home from work.

Dad disapproves.

So this morning, I was trying to snatch a few more precious moments of relaxation in bed before it was time to "head to work" with breakfast time. (I hate breakfast time. Spilled cereal is probably the most disgusting thing in the world. Especially if kids have been sitting there letting it get soft and squishy for a long time. Makes me shudder.) Anyway, I was still laying in bed dreaming about a day when my children would get up and not scream for attention immediately.

My daydreams were interrupted by my husband plopping the kids onto my bed and proceeding to get them dressed for the day. I couldn't be upset at the interruption because, hey, I guess getting the kids dressed is a good thing. And those boys are so darn cute that it's hard not to smile at them in the morning.

Fast forward 15 minutes to breakfast time. Dad's gone to work. Mom's "on duty" again. Naturally, Elijah drips a cup of milk down his shirt. Who did NOT see this coming? Oh well. Mom blots at it with a washcloth and tells Elijah to stop crying and eat his food. This is one of the main reasons the pajamas stay on until after breakfast. We move on.

Fast forward about 45 more minutes. Mom is blogging about how wonderful it is to be published and Thomas comes down the stairs naked. "Umm, Thomas, where are your clothes?" Mom asks casually.

"Where my Thomas Tank Engine 'jamas, Mom?" asks Tommy.

"How about you go put on your daytime clothes again?" asks Mommy.

"Where my Thomas Tank Engines 'jamas, Mommy?" asks Tommy.

"Where are your pants, Tommy? Upstairs? Should we go upstairs and get your pants back on?" asks Mommy.

"Where my Thomas Tank Engine 'jamas, Mommy?" asks Tommy.

So Elijah is now wearing a lovely milk-scented t-shirt and Thomas is wearing his Thomas the Tank Engine pajamas. I need to remember to change their clothes before 5:30 when Dad gets home from work.

The Check Is In The Mail

Indulge me in a bit of celebration!

I said before that I only had one goal for 2008: learning to love and accept myself more. Technically speaking, that was true. But I do have a little paper with other mini-goals-that-I-probably-won't-be-able-to-reach on it. Only one of these stuck out strongly in my mind as both very desirable and completely unreachable:

* "Get published and paid for a piece of writing"

Who would have thought I'd reach that goal a few hours shy of February 1st?

Granted, it's not the New York Times. Or even the Pleasant Grove Times. But I reached my goal and I'm proud of myself.

A friend of mine from a local message board is trying to start a new business, the Utah Baby Guide, to compliment her existing business, the Utah Baby Fair. It's a free magazine that you can download on your computer any time. And I'm excited to have written the feature article for the first ever issue. Incidentally, I also did the layout/design of the article. (I used to be a desktop publisher "back in the day.")

Top three reasons to go check it out:

1. You've got to be wondering what kind of writing style belongs to someone who thinks in Jane Austen speak but talks like a Valley Girl (and, like, stuff like that.) The answer is: I write in whatever style is appropriate. But don't take my word for it. Go read for yourself. It's the article titled, "How to decorate your nursery on a budget." (This is ironic since my twins bedroom is literally one toddler bed, one toddler mattress sitting on the floor and... oh wait, that's all. They have systematically torn apart everything else to the point that we removed all non-necessities.)

2. The article centers around my dear, dear cousin-in-law, Melody Aanderud. She is a dream come true! She is a fabulously talented interior designer, who used to design clothing stores before becoming a stay-at-home Mom. She is also one of the kindest, most sincere people I have ever met. Her love for other people oozes out in a tangible way. And she did her entire "Design on a Dime" nursery remodel for under $200 since her husband is in his third year of medical school. They've had no income for three years--and had two children during that time. She continues to amaze me each year. Even if you don't look at my article, please go visit her blog which features the most beautiful artwork: http://melodyaa.blogspot.com/ You can own your own Melody Aanderud print or custom name painting (like I featured in the article) for a very reasonable price.

3. The last reason is purely capitalistic/selfish. If this magazine takes off and becomes popular, I'll be able to write more articles! I love writing and this would be a great way for me to hone my skills and build up a resume in case I want to query some bigger magazines at some point. (Little known fact about Juliana: one of my favorite classes at BYU was titled, "Magazine Writing" and was all about how to get published in magazines.)

If #3 is unconvincing, which I wager it is, go check out my article anyway. I'm so proud of my accomplishment (Over 1,900 words and seven pages, folks, all written in under 12 hours while caring for needy kids! Then seven pages of desktop publishing the next day... it was a workout) that I just can't help sharing it with my friends.

Funny!

Last One

Last geeky finance post... for a while...

I thought this was a cool way of explaining why our economy is in trouble right now:

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In Tribute

President Gordon B. Hinckley, leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, passed away today at the age of 97 years old. I have laughed and learned while listening to his words. His counsel and love strengthened, inspired and guided the millions of LDS faithful throughout the world.

President Hinckley, you will be missed but not forgotten. God Bless.

Digging Deep

I like to ponder the really important questions in life, such as:

Why do restaurants say "12 and under" next to kid's meals? Maybe I, as a grown adult, want to consume fewer than 10 bazillion calories when I eat out. Maybe the smaller portions suit me just dandy. And what are they going to do if I order a kid's meal and then rebelliously eat it myself? Will they haul me out and throw me in the snow? Will they scream, "And don't let us see your lousy, cheapskate face in here again, lady!!" Would they honestly not take my money if that was my menu item of choice? It just doesn't make sense.

Man, I could ponder questions like this all day long.

Good Luck/Bad Luck

Sometimes, what starts out as annoying bad luck turns into your dream come true.

Last year, we refinanced our home equity loan to include our new car. Good rates, convenient, blah blah blah. As part of the process, our home had to get re-appraised. So when we got our appraisal results, we were stunned--no, SHOCKED--at how low the appraisal was. It was high enough for our needed LTV and all that, but I was expecting it to be at least $20K higher and probably $40K higher. I think the appraiser was trying so hard to find other properties with accessory apartments that he ignored more obvious comparables. Or maybe he was padding his reputation, because appraisers who consistently throw out high figures get into mucho trouble. A house down the street sold the same week for about $35K more than our appraised value--and it's smaller and doesn't include an income source. In other words, I knew this appraisal was way off, but what ya gonna do?

My feelings changed when we got our property tax notice. They had readjusted our property value to be a whopping 50% higher than the year before! 50%! It was ridiculous. If anybody offered to buy my house for the amount the county appraised it for, I'd be gone within 24 hours and shaking the buyer's hand and wishing them luck.

I noticed some fine print that said we could appeal our value. A-ha! With crappy appraisal in hand, I headed down to the government building. Within a mere 10 seconds (I kid you not), my home was readjusted to the low appraisal amount, saving me hundreds of dollars on my property taxes for the year.

Did I feel a tad guilty about using an appraisal that I knew was way lower than my home's actual value? Mmm only for a minute or two. Luck was just going my way that day. And it turned out to be good luck that had gotten a bad rap.

We have an appraiser coming again today as part of our mortgage refi. If he brings in a more logical number, let's just keep it between you and I, shall we? The county doesn't need to know.

"In The Box"

It's great to think outside the box. But sometimes, being "in the box" is the best place to be:

One of my blog stalkers asked yesterday (via her husband) who we are refinancing through. This came about three hours after telling my mortgage company that I was going to blog about the great program they offer. If you're considering refinancing, do yourself a favor and read on! If you're yawning from two successive mortgage posts, my sincere apologies!

When I did some shopping around for our refinance, I discovered that my preferred lender would charge $4,000 in closing costs. My next-favorite lender, Countrywide, would also charge ridiculous amounts of money for me to give them their business. (I don't own a Costco card because I don't believe I should have to PAY someone for the privilege of giving them my business. I'm a brat that way.) Another place I called charges a whopping 4% origination fee! And I doubt they even blush when they kick people like that.

My brother recommended a place called "Box Home Loans." BHL is the brainchild of a company that we refinanced with years earlier. We had a good experience then so I looked into it.

The idea behind Box Home Loans goes like this: they only deal with people who have immaculate credit and a good LTV (loan-to-value ratio), and in return they offer the best rates imaginable. They also let you choose your rate vs. closing costs, so you can tailor the program to exactly what you want. We went with the closest-to-no-cost rate, which is 5.625% right now. We could have spent an extra $1,500 to get a 5.5% but I'm not "settled" enough to risk the extra money right now. Or we could have gone to a higher rate and had them pay for the privilege of refinancing. And the great thing is you can do this all online so you're not talking to a pushy salesperson. That's a must for me.

To summarize: we're refinancing for $150, instead of $4,000. And we're dealing with a great company. If you fit "inside the box" (credit about 700, 90% or better LTV and it's your primary residence), go give BHL a call. I reserve the right to change my mind later if they give us fits, as mortgage companies are so apt to do. ;)

When we bought our home, we got a 7/1 ARM loan which started at 4.75% for the first seven years. Pardon my valley girlishness when I say, "Freakin' awesome!" But we went a tad over budget and had to throw the extra money into a home equity loan, which we later refinanced to include our car. That loan is at 6.49%. Knowing that our ARM is a ticking time bomb, I have been watching mortgage rates for a long time. When they got to 6.25% last year, I was tempted. Then they dipped to 6.125% and I almost pulled the trigger, but waited. Rates went up again so I lost interest.

Yesterday, when I checked rates, they had dropped to 5.625%! Freakin' awesome! Still, with the word "recession" being bandied about more and more often, I thought the chances of future rate cuts might be pretty good. But I jumped anyway, because I am really not the gambling type. This morning, I went to the Mortgage Matters blog, expecting to hear a bit of talk about this and I wasn't disappointed. Everything Holden Lewis said confirmed to me that this is a really rare opportunity to get an amazing rate. Go read it if you're considering refinancing.

Happy Dance!

I know, I know... I'm supposed to post pictures of my kids all bundled up doing fun stuff. I'm supposed to showcase my versatility at being a Fun Mom. Well, I'm obviously not a very fun Mom because the reason I'm doing a happy dance is....

Mortgage rates dropped again! Yea! I can do a no-cost refi at 5.625% and I almost refinanced last year at 6.25%. I was so tempted, but I resisted... That's almost $100 a month cheaper just by being patient for the refinance. And no closing costs. I love America. And Yeehaw Texas. And Holy Chunder, I am so happy.

I need to get out more often.