Saturday, August 08, 2009

Changing Lanes

12:04 p.m.
Coming home.
Slow truck--so slow.

Out of the slow lane.

A flicker of movement.
It is suddenly in front of me.
The furry head sees me, panics
Jerks slightly to the left
To the right

We both know it's too late
A sickening thud reverberates
Front
Middle
Rear

That's life in the fast lane

One moment between life and death
My hands grip the wheel of the car
The instrument of death

I say to myself
Death is part of life
Just a skunk... I think...
It was all so, so fast

I slow down, pull into the slow lane
I think about blood and fur and flesh
Is it clinging to my car?

I think of my children's innocent eyes
What is that, Mommy?

It's late. Dark. I'm tired.
I have to wash the blood off my hands
And my car.
The gas station is open
I hate the smell of the car wash soap

But it cleanses my car
My confession of innocent guilt cleanses my conscience.

12:24 p.m.
Time for bed.

4 comments:

  1. Yucky!

    Once.. while I was living in St George, I was driving back down there after a weekend up in Salt Lake with a friend of mine. We were right near the Cove Fort area and a big motor home hit a deer at full speed, so the deer FLEW in the air and hit me! It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. Ewww...

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  2. Oh, sorry. On the VERY FIRST DAY I had my driver's license, eons ago, I hit a rabbit. I was devasted. The sounds replays in the mind, over and over and over.

    But you know, I get really bugged here on the Ironton hill (old state road coming into my town from Provo) when cars stay in the passing lane when they should just move over. At least the truck you were dealing with stayed to the right.

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  3. How sad! I once hit an animal and just wanted to curl up and cry! I can't imagine having children there. I have to say, though, that although you had such a trying experience, you still did an amazing job relating it.

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  4. I completely understand. Our dog of 13 years was violently killed by a car right in front of me and my kids while waiting for the bus. It was so sad. I couldnt function for a week. It was really bad.

    Then a month or two latter I hit a possum that was big enough to be my little dog. I could bearly drive the rest of the way. I was sobbing because the sound from in the car was as bad as hearing it when my dog was killed. I felt horrible. I knew it was just a possum but i felt so so bad. I had to stop and catch my breath and calm down and say a prayer for help.

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