Last year, the list was closer to 40 or so. Again, my ambitions fell short of reality. I once again crossed people off the list, feeling guilty. How do I cross somebody's name off the list? It feels like I'm betraying their friendship! How do I say, "I love you, but not as much as I love the family that lives next door." Ack! As I delivered my little gift bags, I felt like doing it in camoflage with my face painted so that I wouldn't be seen by those who didn't make the cut.
The more I thought about it, the more stressed I felt. Then the worst part happened. I had crossed people off my list, and then .... I received something from them. How horrible! Now I had the added guilt of knowing they hadn't made the cut on my list, but I had made the cut on theirs. I admit, yes, guiltily, that I added people back onto the list after I received something from them! How could I not add them back on?!? Of course, nobody wants a guilt-driven Christmas goodie bag and heaven knows my baking skills are nothing to fuss about but still.
So this year, I determined to buy a little something for each of the neighbors so that I could give to each and every one of them. I told my husband the brilliant plan. "WHAT?!?!!?" he asked. He laughed at me. "We can't buy something for the neighbors for Christmas. Who are you?!?" He knows I love to bake. I just don't like guilt when I run out of steam.
I thought about it and agreed that he was right: baking is a Christmas tradition, even if my neighbor gift cookies arrive stale, crumbled together and looking pathetic. The stale, crumbly, pathetic cookies are tradition, I tell you!
So I sat down today to make the annual List. I realized the list has grown. Josh is in scouting now and has new home teaching families. I have met a whole slew of people in my primary calling and wish I could take something to each of them. So I wrote out two lists: the "I will not for any reason cross these people off the list" list and the "If I don't run out of steam, I definitely want to take something to these people" list. Then I counted them up, added them together and began my annual nervous breakdown. The total: almost 75.
Help.
I'm right now in the middle of deciding whether to do little gifts for anyone at all. It becomes so overwhelming to do something for everyone, and it always seems like you forget someone and then they drop something off on Christmas Eve. Aack! I usually bake because it gets so pricey to buy something, but honestly, I'm thinking about just bagging the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteI mean, do I really think less of my friends/neighbors who don't give me something? Of course not. And is it really worth it to drive myself into the ground baking and preparing and delivering for days on end? I'm not so sure. I haven't made my final decision yet, but I'm honestly leaning towards not doing it at all... May the force be with you in your decision. :)
Say... when I think about just skipping it altogether, I'm filled with a feeling of freedom and lightness! But.... still, it's tradition!
ReplyDeleteWe are starting a new neighborhood tradition this year of a canned food drive. My friend and neighbor came up with the idea and I jumped on board to offer my house as a drop off point. I like the baking-for-neighbors tradition too, but we are going to try this and see how it goes.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Tennille in seriously considering bagging the whole thing...please don't think less of me or my love for you when nothing arrives on your doorstop...and because I've admitted this, you can check me off your list (if it was there in the first place :) ) I will be donating food to the food bank in lieu.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, Mariah! You (and Tennille) totally made the "definitely" list! We tried the food drive thing last year at a neighborhood party, but it didn't stop people from giving each other stuff. After all, we didn't all make it to the party, ya know?
ReplyDeleteMaybe this year I could just have some family cards made and insert something that says "A donation was made to the Utah Food Bank on your behalf."
That would be kind of the best of both worlds, right?
Come to the neighbor party and donate to the food bank and then just bake something nice for your family. I am all about getting together with friends and neighbors rather than just dropping stuff off. Plus it is stress free! C'mon you know you want to.
ReplyDeleteThis year Jason and I deceided to use that money I would have used for gifts for neighbors and instead we bought food for the food bank. This year espically I think there are so many people in need. I LOVE all my neighbors, but feel it's not worth the stress and hassel when the time and money can be used to help others. (Any of my neighbors reading this, know that I love you, and gave food to someone who is hungry for your gift.) :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should feel bad about bagging it either. I'm going to confess that I never eat all the baked goods that we get at Christmas. It's just too much. And even though I like knowing that someone is thinking about us enough to bring us something, I don't necessarily think that they love us more than our neighbors that don't bring us anything. Do the food drive thing and spend your time enjoying the season!
ReplyDeleteWe all feel your love and kindness Juliana!! No offense when nothing arrives on my doorstep. I'm donating to the food bank too. An YES we have the BEST neighborhood! Bake with and for your cute boys, their's your new tradition :)
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a pretty good deal for neighbor gifts, if you wanted. It would definitely be easier then making a bunch of things.
ReplyDelete25 copies of the story the Christmas Box, although it's 15 shipping, but it's not too bad.
http://richardpaulevans.com/freebooks/
You have described my own predicament exactly. When I think back to making Christmas cookies with my mom & sisters, visions of a beautiful, productive bakery fill my head. I absolutely loved making the goodies. But being in charge of the whole process is hard! My kids are just beginning (some of them) to be helpful. But I love the tradition aspect of it all. So, I'm not donating for my neighbors to a food pantry--worthy as it may be--I'll be frazzled by the work but hopefully making a few memories in the process.
ReplyDeleteI think the food bank idea is a great idea, but if you love baking so much then who says you have to take all your gifts for christmas? Why not make a batch for Christmas, a batch for New Years and a batch for January 6th (the day the wise men came). You can let everyone know they are loved 25 friends at a time. Or if that is still close together do Christmas, Valentines and St Patricks day. People need loving (and goodies) on more than just Christmas. Don't burn yourself out, we love you no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI will not be doing anything this year as we will be moving and I can't deal with that stress on top of everything, so the foodbank is where it is at for me this year!
I so hear you! I like the idea of bagging it, but we get stuff from so many people, I just can't quite make myself do it.... Although I would cheer for the person that took that stand! :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, so two ideas for you, though. First, off, you can do hand soaps or sanitizer for about $1 a piece. Still a lot of work and money for as many as you are doing, but you can do them ahead of time unlike baked goods. Here's a link: http://designdazzle.blogspot.com/2009/10/clean-hands-personalized-soap.html
Second idea - this is what I'm doing for ward members this year - is a copy of the spiral bound Gospel Art Picture kit. They are like $3 a piece, but if you buy a box, they end up being $1.50 each. Some wards/stakes bought them for their ward members, but mine didn't. I was going to do it last year, then talked myself out of it. So I'm going to do it this year instead. I actually ran across your blog because I am searching for a cute packaging/tag or something to go with it.
Okay, so it just occurred to me to check the date on this post and I realize now that I'm 3 years late, but since I've already typed out this whole thing.... here it is. :)
Good luck to you with whatever you decide!