Happy Old Year

It's obvious that we tend to take things for granted when we get used to them. Today I learned how much I absolutely adore that symbol of domestic housewifery: the vacuum. Our vacuum decided to die a graceful death on Christmas and our carpets have since been accumulating crumbs and debris at an amazing rate. 

Josh took the vacuum apart and discovered the problem, then took it in to our neighbor's vacuum repair shop yesterday. Our good, good neighbor fixed it up for us and gave it a second birth. I just finished vacuuming my living room and I feel absolutely enthralled. The carpets are so ... so ... clean! No more bits of snacktime or green shreds of faux Christmas tree. I can breathe a huge sigh of relief, because I no longer have to apologize and explain whenever somebody walks into my house. (It was really, really, really bad!)

The simple things in life, like vacuum cleaners, are such a blessing. Here are some of the other things that were fabulous in 2008:

* I got to take a trip out to LA to visit my sister and watch the American Idol finale live. SO much fun!

* A couple short weeks later, I had a trip planned to go with that same sister to northern California to see a charity prerelease screening of Wall-E. It was so much fun and I got to chaperone my nephew, Sam, for the trip.

* Sam and I are becoming real buddies. He just turned 15 yesterday and he is so much fun. I'm grateful for my deepening relationships with my (many) nephews now that they're all living in my city.

* Josh and I took our kids on a quick overnighter to southern Utah, to see how they'd do in a hotel room. It was interesting.

* Despite the previous item, we planned a full-scale family trip to southern Utah this autumn and had a blast. The weather was chilly and the leaves had, for the most part, fallen, but we had a great time anyway.

* I finally got of the hairstyle I've had since a teenager: long, straight, all the same length. I am loving the fact that I'm getting more bold with my hair, even if it's not exactly ground-breaking to other people. I'm taking baby steps, folks. Baby steps.

* Josh attended his university commencement and we finally put the long, arduous Bachelor's Degree chapter behind us.

* Josh took Joseph on a trip to Alabama to visit his parents, who were serving a mission there. I got to enjoy a peaceful week with only three people in the house, instead of five. Ahhhhh, quiet.

* The twins started preschool and I have a life again!

* My mom's seventh grandson (still no granddaughers) was born. Dylan is my fourth nephew and I adooooore him.

* Joseph's reading got much better. And so did Tommy's. (He is frightfully precocious. I'm a little scared of him, I think.) ;)

* Two of my best friends are in town right now visiting from Minnesota. We've been staying up until waaaaaaaaaaaay too late playing Pandemic and Modern Art and I am so happy to get to see "Uncle Craig" and "Aunt Jaclyn" (or "Uncle Jaclyn" as my young children sometimes call her.)

* We invested in a piano and I am so happy to be able to hear music in my home.

* We "adopted" a foster daughter in Cambodia. (It's not a legal "adoption" ... it just means we are supporting her and writing to her.) Her name is Sovann and I can't wait to get to know her better. Maybe in a few years, we can save up for a trip to visit her at the orphanage.

* Josh and Joseph hiked "The Y" and even enjoyed it. I think that hike is miserably dull and hot.

* The boys particularly enjoyed one of our family nights when we went up the canyon and collected leaves. They still talk about it sometimes.

* Many more blessings and experiences and moments too numerous to blog about. Happy New Year, everyone!

Out with the old

My 2007 and 2008 New Year's Resolutions were fabulously successful. They really impacted my life in a way that I never expected. I always thought about New Year's Resolutions as the kind of thing you commit to working harder on, knowing that you'll never stick with it. Things like weight loss or keeping the house immaculate. I mean, if the obvious rewards like not dying of heart disease or having clothing to wear regularly didn't inspire you to action, why would you be inspired by the numbers at the top of your calendar changing?

Two years ago, I was overwhelmed with life. I was deeply unhappy and dissatisfied with the direction I was headed. So I resolved in 2007 to stop saying, "I can't" and start saying, "How can I make it happen?" I found power I didn't know I had. This year, I resolved to learn how to love myself and like myself. I have discovered a new zest for life that took me by surprise.

For 2009, I have resolved to create joy in my life. I won't wait for it. I won't hope for a happy future. I won't feel helpless to be happy in the here and now, whatever my trials and challenges are. I will take charge of my life and carve out happiness for myself.

This year's goal may be the hardest one yet, because I'm so accustomed to being defined by my circumstances. When you're a stay-at-home Mom with two newborns in the house, you really are defined in a lot of ways by your limitations. There are just a lot of things that are not possible in your life anymore. I'm used to stealing happy moments when I can, not actively seeking them out or planning for them. This will require a complete mental reboot for me. If I can pull it off, this will be, hands down, the best year of my life.

It seems to me that joy isn't a result of your circumstances. It is a result of looking at life with gratitude and a happy heart. It's an attitude. However, having freedom to get out of the house will help. The children are old enough that they can care for themselves a little more than they used to. They're in preschool a few hours a week. They're also slightly easier to reason with than they were when they were newborns. So if I want to exercise, I think I can reason with them to not burn the house down while I'm using the elliptical. (Of course, this is all just theory still. We'll have to see how it pans out.) 

They're old enough to go to the bathroom on their own, however unwilling they are to admit that or act on it. They're old enough to understand that when they're put to bed at night, Mother would appreciate it if they didn't eat the drywall instead of sleeping. (I have sworn that I will not even consider getting pregnant again until the children go to bed at night without jumping up and arguing with me. This day has yet to come. Will it ever come for Thomas? Somebody please tell me yes.)

I have to admit I feel a bit frightened about the idea of trying to take charge of my life instead of being blown about by the winds of chance. I need to put up the collar of my coat and head straight into the wind instead, walking forward with the wind burning my cheeks. If I don't walk the line, who knows where I'll end up in life? (Walk the line 2009!)

The benefits of having one major goal are plentiful. However, a few minor goals never hurt anything. I allowed myself one minor goal for 2008: getting my writing published (for money). I accomplished that goal early in the year, thanks to a friend who was starting a new magazine. It wasn't much but it counted. This year, I have a few eensy weensy goals that I'm allowing myself: lose 50 pounds, do the laundry five times a week, clean one bathroom almost every day, exercise six times a week, plan out every meal in advance, read my scriptures every day, never miss a family home evening and get to church on time (9 a.m.) every single Sunday.

That's not asking too much for someone who is determined to take charge of life ... is it? If you're reading this, I want to know what your New Year's Resolution is. How are you going to change your life in 2009?

Late Night Stuff

* I went to the Valpak office today to pick up some of the gift certificates they sell on the cheap. If you don't already know about this, I refuse to give you the details. The more competition, the less likely they'll have what I need. (Okay, fine, it's in an office complex at the intersection of 1600 South and State Street in Orem. Southeast corner. Upper floor.) I went to see if they had any more of the gift certificates for Boardgame Revolution. (Half price off retail... not bad.) I looked at the list of available merchants and didn't see them listed any more. I was bummed but thought I would ask just in case. 

There was a rather long-winded gentlemen talking the ear off the saleslady so I stood on the side and waited for a break in the conversation. The guy eventually turned to me and asked good-naturedly, "I'm sorry. Did you have a question for her?" I stated my business and was surprised by the hearty laugh they both gave me in reply. The gentlemen then pushed two gift certificates ($40 worth) toward me and asked, "Did you need two?" I said, "Yes, exactly." They laughed again and explained they were all out but that he had just returned those two in exchange for something else. Perfect timing! They wouldn't have available five minutes earlier. I was feeling lucky.

The gentlemen then turned to me and said heartily, "You sure were following your promptings today. It's great that you were listening to the Spirit." I was dumbfounded. Do I have "Mormon Mother" posted on my forehead in addition to my blog title? Or did this guy forget that a huge chunk of the world population isn't LDS? Or did he just not care? For some reason, I was really turned off by the fact that he would say that to a total stranger. I thought it would have been particularly offensive to somebody with different religious leanings. But I was very happy (and perhaps I was following some promptings?) that things turned out so well.

* I headed to Boardgame Revolution... for the second this week, I think. The owner smiles when he sees me and knows just what I like. We joke easily with each other and he treats me well as a customer. I went there to buy "10 Days in Europe" as a fun way to teach my kids geography but there was a little devil sitting on my shoulder whispering one word: "Agricola!" I tried to shush it. It was in vain. Agricola is the latest, greatest, HOTTEST thing in board games. Settlers of Catan is soooo three years ago. I keep hearing about this game, so I checked it out on www.boardgamegeek.com and discovered that on their ranking scale, Agricola has captured the #1 spot from former long-time champ, Puerto Rico, which I must admit is hugely fun to play.

Only one problem with Agricola. It retails for ... brace yourselves ... SEVENTY DOLLARS! That's: $70! Holy Smokes! Boardgame Revolution normally sells it for $50, which is a steal, but I used my Valpak coupons and got it for $35. Pretty sweet deal. Since the game is now out of print for 2008 and won't be available until the 2009 reprint, I could probably make a little profit on this game. Nah. It looks SO fun! I can't wait to unwrap it on Christmas morning, ooh and ahh, and find a few people to play with. Woot!

* Joseph's expectations of Santa are evermorphing. As I've said before, we never encouraged the Santa idea when Joseph was young. We eventually just told him that Mom and Dad were Santa but it was fun to pretend. Last year he told me, "Mom, I know you say there isn't a Santa but I know that's not true. I know Santa is real." What does a Mom say to that? Nothing. I just nodded and walked away, laughing. 

This year, I took the kids to see Santa at a local store and asked Joseph if he wanted to go meet Santa. He looked at me, shocked, and said, "Mom, that's not the real Santa. That's just some guy dressed up, pretending to be him. Don't you know about STRANGER DANGER, MOM?!?" Again, the kid had me stumped. And highly amused.

A few days later, Joseph told me he doesn't believe in Santa anymore. I said okay. Then he wrote a letter to Santa and I asked why if he doesn't believe he's real. He said, "Well, I only sort of don't believe in Santa. I halfway do and I halfway don't." I love that kid.

* After writing my Fiscal Rant a few days ago, my husband reminded me of a few key elements of my budgeting style that I had forgotten about. The bottom line was that we have more money going into savings that I remembered and I don't need to panic. He reminded me how lucky he was to be married to somebody who is so fiscally conservative and after I thought about, I realized he's right. ;)

* Have you checked out the mortgage rates lately? They're hot, baby. Hot! Is refinancing twice in 12 months too often? I'm tempted.

* I like my kiddos. Someday, I'll be surrounded by three strong adult men and I'll know they were once the little babies I held in my arms. For now, they're just the sweetest little cuties I could imagine.*

* I love people. I find that when I'm alone, I become very introspective and philosphical. While that leads to fascinating trains of thought, it also sometimes tends toward brooding over less-than-happy thoughts or overanalyzing things that ought to be forgotten. When I start feeling blue, all it takes is for 20 seconds talking to a grocery clerk or waving at a friend driving by to put a smile back on my face. People are great!

* I was feeling bummed about my singing again this week. I was ready to just throw in the towel and refuse to sing anywhere ever. Then I went to my voice lesson tonight and realized I'm not nearly as bad as I thought I was. The person waiting for her lesson to begin after me even complimented me on my strong, clear voice. That cheered me up immensely.

* I ordered Christmas cards so early this year. I was totally on top of things. Why are they still sitting in a pile on my desk? Dang! I guess I know what I'm doing tomorrow: delivering Christmas cards!

* It's almost midnight and I am not a night person. Therefore, I don't want to go back to spell check or grammar check or "does this even make sense" check or "Have I said more than I ought to?" check this blog entry. 

* Happy Holidays all. May they be filled with joy and/or peace.

* Some limitations or exceptions may apply, including but not limited to: when they make rude body noises, say "No" in disrespectful tones, pee on the floor, refuse to go to bed at bedtime, get sticky fingerprints all over my iPod, laptop or cell phone or when they stand on the arms of the couch.

A Fiscal Rant

Every time I go over my budget, I feel this grand sense of guilt for how much I spend. Let me clarify: I am very fiscally conservative and I have certain principles of tightwaddery perfected. When I feel guilty about how much I spend, I battle with myself. One side of me says, "What do you feel guilty about? Buying groceries and clothing for your children? Sheesh. Lighten up." The other side of me says, "You could save a lot by making homemade bread and tortillas. Why don't you make homemade chili and take advantage of a vegetable garden?" I battle it out with myself and end up frustrated and anxious about it.

This is ridiculous. My husband has a good job and we are not lacking anything we need. That's not my frustration. My frustration is that I feel like I should be saving more, spending less and remembering how slim my family had things growing up. Why can't I resist the siren call of living at a nicer lifestyle just because I'm not poor? I have the pioneer genetics hardwired into my brain so extensively that no surgeon or psychologist could disentangle them.

As a child, we had one old and pathetic television and the word "cable" was not spoken out loud. We wore hand-me-downs and sometimes bought things at DI. We shopped clearance sales and fashion was never a consideration. If it fit and we could afford it, that was all that mattered. And we were happy. We laughed and were a family and didn't need expensive things. I never, ever felt a sensation of missing out on life.

Joseph's 2008 Christmas letter to Santa reads, "Dear Santa, I want an electric guitar, ipod, idog, 4wheeler, xbox 360, 60 free bowling coupons, From Joseph." (sic sic and double sic on all that)

Who is this child? Need I assure you that Joseph will be very disappointed on Christmas morning when he opens up the huge LEGO set that my family would have drooled over as children? There will undoubtedly be whining about not receiving 4 wheelers and video game consoles. They are constantly begging us for ridiculous things that no child in the world needs. I never realized that "keeping up with the Joneses" started at such a young age.

I can't stand the fact that my children have a sense of entitlement hard wired instead of inherent gratitude for what they have. It makes me want to sell my nice house and move into a tiny house with broken plumbing and only one bathroom for a while to help my children build a little character.

Okay, now I'm rambling and ranting. My apologies.

But really, I'm irritated with money. I know firsthand how stressful life is when you don't have enough money, but I'm starting to see the other side of the equation. I'm starting to understand that when you aren't poor, people expect things from you that you aren't able to give. People make critical comments when I exercise fiscal responsibility, because they think we're "rich" (by which they really mean "richer than they are.") I am pressured by my family to spend more and save less, even though we have a balanced budget with far less than I'd like going into savings.

So I did some math today, trying to figure out why our lifestyle seems to be about the same as it was a few years ago, but my husband is earning a better salary. That doesn't add up! What I discovered is that Uncle Sam and Ye Olde Health Insurance Company have their hands very deep into our pockets. They apparently think they're entitled to some of our gain. And by "some" I mean "most." Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating but when I totaled it up, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut.

I called and told my husband my findings and he made some comments (in what seemed a very smug voice) about my political leanings and how they affected our personal finance. I reminded him that I do not agree with democratic financial policies and never have, but have equally serious concerns about the republican party. Which is why I remain proudly unaffiliated. Josh then seemed to recall the Republican fiscally irresponsible policy of "spend, spend, spend, spend, spend... oops, is that a federal deficit reaching near infinity?" and our brief political musings came to an end.

To summarize: our taxes and paycheck deductions exceed the total income of somebody in our extended family. And I'm not bitter about paying taxes. I would happily pay more if I felt like our government was serious about balancing the budget and ridding our country of the debt that presses us down. What I resent is being forced to pay social security and medicare taxes, which I doubt will actually benefit me in retirement.

Some people liken the democratic notion of taxing the wealthy to support the poor "socialistic." I call it "the Robin Hood" approach. "Taking from the rich to give to the poor." The only trouble is that the Robin Hood story likes to portray the "wealthy" as greedy, grabbing, evil people and the poor as humble victims of circumstance. In real life, Robin Hood would be a democrat and politician. And he'd be hated by the middle class and called a socialist.

If I seem to be contradicting myself or making little sense, all is well. Every person has conflicting emotions and contradictory beliefs on occasion. They cause stress. And ranting and raving on a blog is an excellent way to relieve stress.

It's been a long time since I let loose with a rambling, ranting blog post. It feels good, but I should remember that nobody likes rambling, ranting blog posts. Except Sandra, who asks me to post them more often. Sandra, this blog post is just for you. I know you can feel my pain.

Cabinet Position & Other Stuff

I decided yesterday that President-elect Obama's cabinet will not be complete until he considers a new position: Secretary of Awesomeness. I officially nominate my brother, Mike, to fill the position. He would fill the role admirably. How about it, Barack?

Last week was a fabulous week: 

* Our kids were actually well-behaved through the ward's Christmas Luau and we were able to stay for the entire thing. 

* I had over some high school friends and their spouses for a dinner party. I made three cakes and one main dish. I think that speaks loads about my personality. More importantly, I received a stuffed Intel man during the White Elephant gift exchange so I ended the evening happy. 

* We had Ward Choir at our house on Sunday, which is always a treat. I love hearing my home filled with music and my piano being played by somebody who actually knows how to play piano.

* Sunday evening, my extended family debated whether to watch "A Muppet Christmas Carol" or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir/Sissel Christmas DVD. I'm proud to say that the Muppets only began after listening to several tranquilly blissful minutes of Sissel.

* My friend, Kazzy, invited me be a guest on her blog's "Musical Mondays" feature. I drove down to Kazzy's house and we recorded a duet of "In The Bleak Midwinter." (Listen here. Stay a while and listen to her other songs--she's fabulous. And she's an awesome writer, so settle in and enjoy!) I was appalled at how poorly I sang (off pitch, breathy, weak, timing off) but I had a blast and now I want to do it again to see how much I can improve. I have a new challenge.

* My husband and I sang a duet at a Christmas Parade of Homes thing, as part of a recital set up by my awesome voice teacher. I surprised myself at how well I sang (other than one itty bitty little mistake of not coming in when I needed to.. oops!) and how I'm not nearly as nervous performing as I used to be. I actually am learning to enjoy it. I enjoy the challenge, the preparation and the confidence it gives me when I succeed. Mostly, though, I just love singing.

* The book I had on hold at the library finally came in, so I've been up to my eyeballs in part two (and part three) of the Amelia Peabody series. Number two was the first one I ever read and I haven't read it in years, so it was a real treat!

* I found the online printing service from the local grocery store and printed Christmas cards and a bunch of pictures from 2008. It reminded me what a great year it's been: a trip to Cedar City during the summer, a trip to Zion National Park, Cedar Breaks and Kolob Canyons this autumn, a trip or two to Logan, my trip out to watch the American Idol finale, my trip out to the Benefit Screening of Wall-E at Pixar, fun leaf collecting with the kids, and lots of cute little boy smiles.

* We started receiving Christmas cards from loved ones, which is always a real treat. I am in the middle of reading my dad's annual Christmas letter, which is always fodder for many laughs. He included a poem he wrote, titled, " Christmas Bailout," which includes such witticisms as:

The mortgages are failing fast on sub-prime North Pole land;

The elf economy can't last; supply of sugar plums exceeds demand.

You can see why I always look forward to my Dad's holiday letter! (Click here for another example of his poetry, one created for the occasion of my 30th birthday. Hooray!)

It was a great week. It's been a great year. Which reminds me: it's about time to watch It's a Wonderful Life, isn't it?

Old love, new loves

New Loves:

* The little chocolate horses from IKEA. They taste like Kinder Eggs, with that rich, european chocolate texture that Americans have yet to master.

* The little chocolate-covered toffees from IKEA that look like Rolos. I bought "mint caramel" because it sounded so impossibly gross. It was totally delicious.

Old Love:

Thomas told me today that our Raffi Concert DVD is his favorite movie. That boy has good taste. I was raised on Raffi and I cannot stand the modern kids musicians who make love to the camera and seem to forget that they're supposed to be singing for the KIDS. Raffi is sincere and lets his personality carry the music. Kids are naturally attracted to him because he's so genuine.



I cannot help loving a children's performer who says, "Throughout my 20-plus years of making music for children, the core value at the heart of my work has been respect for the young child as a whole person. I have not accepted any offers to do commercial endorsements because I believe it's wrong to use one's popularity to sell products to a vulnerable audience. "

Of course, Raffi has grown up and his music has grown up, too. He now sings environmentalist, peace-l0ving, groovy songs and talks about Child Honoring. Luckily, his kids music lives on through recordings and DVDs. Yea Raffi!

SMILE!

Smile! You are great!

Neighbor Gifts

I'm not exaggerating when I say I LOVE my neighbors! Every Christmas, I want to give a little Christmassy something to all of them to let them I'm thinking about them. A couple years ago, I made out the list and it included over 30 families. I baked and baked and prepared and had to cut people off the list when I ran out of steam.

Last year, the list was closer to 40 or so. Again, my ambitions fell short of reality. I once again crossed people off the list, feeling guilty. How do I cross somebody's name off the list? It feels like I'm betraying their friendship! How do I say, "I love you, but not as much as I love the family that lives next door." Ack! As I delivered my little gift bags, I felt like doing it in camoflage with my face painted so that I wouldn't be seen by those who didn't make the cut.

The more I thought about it, the more stressed I felt. Then the worst part happened. I had crossed people off my list, and then .... I received something from them. How horrible! Now I had the added guilt of knowing they hadn't made the cut on my list, but I had made the cut on theirs. I admit, yes, guiltily, that I added people back onto the list after I received something from them! How could I not add them back on?!? Of course, nobody wants a guilt-driven Christmas goodie bag and heaven knows my baking skills are nothing to fuss about but still.

So this year, I determined to buy a little something for each of the neighbors so that I could give to each and every one of them. I told my husband the brilliant plan. "WHAT?!?!!?" he asked. He laughed at me. "We can't buy something for the neighbors for Christmas. Who are you?!?" He knows I love to bake. I just don't like guilt when I run out of steam.

I thought about it and agreed that he was right: baking is a Christmas tradition, even if my neighbor gift cookies arrive stale, crumbled together and looking pathetic. The stale, crumbly, pathetic cookies are tradition, I tell you!

So I sat down today to make the annual List. I realized the list has grown. Josh is in scouting now and has new home teaching families. I have met a whole slew of people in my primary calling and wish I could take something to each of them. So I wrote out two lists: the "I will not for any reason cross these people off the list" list and the "If I don't run out of steam, I definitely want to take something to these people" list. Then I counted them up, added them together and began my annual nervous breakdown. The total: almost 75.

Help.

In Memory

I want to pay tribute to Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, who passed away yesterday at the age of 91. I always looked forward to hearing his gentle voice during General Conferences. He will be missed.

Black Friday/Happy Monday

Black Friday struck fear into my heart years ago, when crowded parking lots and inevitable "while supplies last" disappointments turned me into a shopping cynic. Something in the back of my mind kept speaking to me this year, however, whispering: "You know you want to... give it another shot!"

So I went out shopping Friday morning (alone becaues I couldn't convince any of my family how "fun" this would be), boldly braving the long lines and shopping crazies. I had one item in mind: a new artificial Christmas tree to replace the sad, drooping tree that has served me for about ten years. I had specific requirements in mind and a certain price in mind as I walked into the first store. I walked out a few minutes later, realizing that I would have to either tone down my desires or ramp up my budget. (And by "ramp up" I mean "double.")

So I continued on in my quest. I tried Home Depot, Walmart, Lowes, Michaels, Kmart, Target and eventually Roberts. Eventually I found the perfect tree at almost the perfect price, just $25 more than I wanted to spend. Good enough! I got it home and unpacked it to discover that it is HUGE. The floor model was definitely not this big. It's 9 feet tall and 4.5 feet wide, so we had to move furniture just to find a place to stick this thing. Now that it's up, it's beautiful. I took a nap on the couch next to it, and was delighted to wake up to such a beautiful, sparkly tree. Yea!

While I was at Walmart, I became obsessed with one other special: the LEGO King's Castle Siege set. At $50, it was on sale for half the normal price. It was sold out online and there were none to be found at the Lindon Walmart. I even checked the reshelving baskets and asked numerous annoyed employees if they had any more. Then I bugged my Mom and husband to call other local Walmarts, all with the same result. The employees' tones of voices indicated something along the lines of, "Umm it's 10 a.m. Seriously, you think we would still have any of these in stock after 5:15 a.m.? You're insane, lady."

Saturday, I hopped online to just drool over the set again and hope they might be available on walmart.com. No such luck. I even checked yesterday (Sunday!) because I wanted this set so badly. Sigh. The shopper in me didn't want to accept the truth. I refused to surrender to fate! So I looked online again today. Still out of stock, as you might have guessed. I called Lindon again. The annoyed salesperson said no, of course they're out of stock. I turned away from the computer, feeling sad, when I decided to try ONE LAST TIME. I called the Orem Walmart and the salesperson said the same thing: no of course we don't have any. Then she paused. "You mean the King Arthur set?"

I corrected her. "No, the King's Castle Siege." She told me to hang on and put me on hold. She came back and said, "You're in luck. The vendor just arrived with two sets and I will hold one for you if you can come within the hour."

I am now the proud owner of the awesomest Christmas present for my boys. I even bought TWO and am giving one to my sister's boys for the holidays.

I succumbed to Black Friday madness. It spilled over into Black Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday madness! I thought it would be insane. It was. Guess what? It was also SO FUN! I can't wait until next year. :-)

Abstract Art

Crazy Face

by Joseph Montgomery

2008

Medium: Mud on Fence

Lost and Found

I was exhausted. The twins were exhausted. We all fell asleep. When I woke up, I was disoriented and sleepy. I looked at the clock and was surprised that I had so much time until Joseph was supposed to come home from school.

It was 45 minutes later that I realized that I was an hour off. Joseph should have been home from school already. School had been out for over an hour. He wasn't home.

Have you ever wondered how you would react if your child was missing? I thought there would be immediate tears and panicked calls to the police. Instead, I felt a great rush of ... peace. I realized that I may not handle my everday stresses well, but I'm great in an emergency. I coolly and calmly put the twins in the car, made a few phone calls, and headed out to check a few friends' houses.

It was after exhausting most of my options and then driving around aimlessly for a while that I started to lose my nerve. The school hadn't seen him. They started calling all the first graders' parents and notified the police. I started talking to neighbors, asking them to help me look. I kept driving past my house, hoping to see his bike in the garage.

Just when the police were about to get involved, a stranger drove up and asked if I was looking for Joseph. They explained that he had been at their home and they had been trying to figure out how to contact me. (Joseph used to have our phone number memorized but had forgotten it. His grandmother, however, got a message on her answering machine that worried her quite a bit.)

Then the tears started to flow. I told Joseph to get in the car and took a little drive, trying to sort out what had happened. I'll summarize by saying that Joseph had succumbed to peer pressure and gone with one of his friends to one of their friend's homes. I couldn't believe he had gone into the home of a complete stranger just because his friend "made him."

Oy. Time to revisit and revisit and revisit our safety rules, which he is usually great about obeying. (Other rules, however, are a different story.)

Thanks to my neighbors for helping me out and being willing to help out when I was calmly panicking. It's so nice to know that I'm surrounded by people who care.

Joseph didn't get in trouble, other than having to sit down and listen to the "How do you think I feel when you don't come home from school?" lecture that I vividly remember my Mom giving me when I was in grade school. But I told him that if this ever happens again, he will be grounded from now until he's 35 and have many other vague and horrible things happen to him.

Dispelling the Gloom

Early morning errands called me. The sun was flirting with the mountains but hadn't yet committed to rising. I looked up and saw a grey sky. A thick blanket of clouds met my gaze and I knew it would be a long, cold day. I assumed there would be wind and rain.

After getting the boys buckled into the car, we set out for our destination and the dawn finally transitioned to day. The sun shone and I looked again at the cloud cover. I had been wrong. Rather than being threatening and full of storms, the clouds were wispy and transparent. I could see that the sun would dispel the gloom very quickly.

The day was windy, though. We drove up the canyon and I couldn't keep the car driving in quite a straight line, even with two hands on the steering wheel. Leaves swirled from their roadside beds and danced in the air in front of me. I wouldn't have traded that sight for any number of sunny days. It was beautiful.

The wind faded. The day ended with me sitting in a sunny spot at Brigham Young University campus, sipping a smoothie and chatting with my dad and sister. It became admittedly uncomfortable as the sun stretched lower in the sky and the shadows settled onto our bench, but it was peaceful.

Last week, I was facing a tremendously stressful situation with one of my children. The gloom seemed complete as I searched for answers and was surrounded by deepening problems. This week, the sun rose and dispelled the gloom. I found comfort in my friends and family, and hope in each small improvement I noted.

There was wind. Things are still rough. Children become little storm clouds some days, but I wouldn't trade them for all the sunny days I might have if they weren't in my life. I remember too clearly the tears and frustration before I was able to have children. The kids may swirl around me and force me to parent with both hands on the steering wheel, and my life may still not travel in the straight line I'd prefer.

I know that the gloom will fade, problems will resolve and I will one day sit in the shadows of my setting life with my family, and I will feel peaceful.

A little bit bossy

Joseph: "Mom, you're the beeesssst friend!"

Mom: "Thanks, Joseph, you're so sweet."

Joseph: "Mom, I really love you and Dad, but I've got to tell you a secret."

Mom: "Okay, what is it?"

Joseph: "Mom, I really love you ... but sometimes you're a little bit bossy and I like Dad a little more."

Mom: "Okay, Joseph. Parents get a little bossy sometimes. Have a good day at school."

This is the stuff memories are made of. What kind of mother would I be if I wasn't a little bossy? (This comes the day after Josh let him stay up past his bedtime playing a boardgame. Hmm.)

My name is Mommy

A few minutes ago, Thomas walked up to me and asked me, "Is your name Thomas?" (We've been joking about names all morning, taking turns pretending to be each other. I especially like when I get to be Elijah or Thomas and demand that they give me food: "No, not that food! Wah! I want it on a blue plate, not a dark blue plate!")

I responded to Tommy's question by saying, "No, I'm not Thomas. My name is Mommy."

It's a good thing that I know my name isn't really Mommy. It's so easy to think that with young children in the house. Doesn't it feel sometimes like your identity is swallowed up in the identity of your children?

I visited my Mom last weekend alone, sans kiddos. It was strange to realize that I felt so ... myself. I wasn't playing the part of mother or wife or friend. Just daughter and I've lived that role my whole life so it's just part of who I am. It's nice sometimes to get out and just be me. It's nice to remember that I have a name other than Mommy.

Awesomeness

It doesn't take much to cheer me up. I'm a simple person.

Family Home Evening tonight will be filled with awesomeness and attractiveness. I'll be showing the kids and husband Kung Fu Panda for the first time and enjoying chinese take out.

Life is good.

Memory

What inspires me to write? Who knows. But this inspires me to take a deep breath and remember how beautiful life can be, and remembering that inspires me to want to write:



I sing this song almost every day. It was just a couple weeks ago that I really thought about the lyrics and how deeply moving they are. I couldn't sing because I couldn't stop crying. What a beautiful song.

NaNo No No

Okay, I guess I just committed a few NaNo No Nos. I edited. I hated it. I scrapped most of it and started over. It hurt. But it had to happen.

I fell in love with my first chapter, thought the second chapter was a'ight and then it dissolved into black and white characters that were caricatures of real life. I hate characters that are clearly good or clearly bad. My main character, who I hope will be pitiable, is also pitiful. That's on purpose. I want her mistakes to hurt the reader the way they hurt her. Real life is not just painful when it happens to you... real life hurts when you bring the problems on yourself.

So I couldn't make my main character a victim of a horrendous childhood, which is what I'd done. I had to add a few shades of grey so that people could relate to the parents, the sister and the main character equally. Shakespeare was a master of adding the "tragic flaw" to make characters human, lovable and pitiful.

Now the plot seems to be plodding, though, as I try to add a more detailed picture of my character's youth. Too much character development and not enough plot = unappealing to most readers. How do you strike a balance? I've never done this before.. this is HARD! But it's fun, too, and hopefully I won't wimp out when I get too far behind. I'm a very talented procrastinator, but I'm also very talented and churning things out at the last minute. So stay tuned.

Here are the opening two paragraphs to my NaNo project for your ... ummm ... enjoyment?

It amazes me how complete the darkness can be. It must be late morning and the sun hasn’t started to disturb the quiet, dusty surfaces of this room. I wonder what time it is. I peeked out the window a few minutes ago and the sunlight blinded me, so I turned away and came back to this sanctuary of shadows. This inner room is cluttered and dark, but it was used so infrequently in the old days that it holds none of the painful memories that still cling to other rooms. I spend most of my time here.

Jenn says there will be a time when I can again walk through this home with a smile. I try to pray for this miracle, but the silence I hear afterward is too suffocating. I’ve been hurt by nearly everything in my life and I just can’t put my heart into reaching out to God. I’m afraid he will hurt me, too, and that rejection would be the most painful of all.

MLK

Whatever your political leanings, this should put a tear in your eye this morning:

Road Trippin'

* Cedar Breaks is my new favorite place. I could stare at that view for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours....

* After horrificness on our day trip on Saturday, we learned a few things and our driving time yesterday went without a hitch. The kids amazed me.

* Who would have thought THOMAS would be the best behaved boy last night?!? I didn't see that coming. He slept through the night in our hotel without a problem. The other two, however ... let's just say that we didn't get much sleep.

* Hampton Inn was very good with us, working with us until they found two adjoining rooms with two beds, including a free upgrade to their king suite.

* Umm, those hotel doors sure are secure. If you use the crossover latch that you can only do from the inside, and then go through the adjoining doors and close them and lock yourself out of your hotel room, it really is a pain to get back into your room. Luckily, they didn't have to cut the lock off but it was a pretty close thing! Thanks to the Cedar City Hampton Inn maintenance crew for being my heroes last night. :)

* I CANNOT WAIT to see Zion National Park today. I love that place.

* Happy Election Day '08! 75% of polled Americans on CNN.com this morning think Obama will win. It has felt like it was "in the bag" for a democrat since about 2006. If McCain wins, it will be an amazing surprise!

Historic Moments

A few moments to write in the old list of accomplishments:

1. I survived a one-day road trip with the kids. The last half of the trip was in the dark, sans dinner, in the back seat holding Thomas' seat belt so he wouldn't climb out of it again and again and again and again. Funny little game he perfected there. Not.

2. I cranked out my first 1300+ words for NaNoWriMo before 9 a.m. on November 1st. A mere 48, 700 to go! Woot! My storyline came together at 10:00 p.m. on October 31st so I'm feeling happy. I've never tried to do so much fiction writing and it's fun so far.

3. And the biggest news of all: after months and months and months and months of having ads on my website, I'm now more than halfway toward receiving my first $100 check! Wowsah! I'm almost rich! (Sheesh.)

If Mr. Smith can do it ...

If Mr. Smith could go to Washington and wing it, why not Sarah Palin?

If "Dave" could go to Washington and wing it, why not Sarah Palin?

Oh yeah, I remember now. Those are movies.

I actually like Sarah Palin. I also love watching the parodies of her and I I love to wallow in the political comedy she inspires. And I'm also scared to death of the idea of her as Executive of the US of A. (I like my grandmother, but that doesn't mean I'd vote her into office either.)

~~~

It's Halloween again. Not my favorite holiday. Regardless, the kids are all hopped up on sugar and I'm reminded that any costume is made infinitely cuter when it is worn by own offspring.

~~~

Anxiety levels rising. Must exercise. Or sleep. Or fly to California. Or go on some highly potent prescription drugs. Or take a few deep breaths and chill.

~~~

I can't believe I'm even thinking of it with my wrist in this condition. Artistic insanity has gripped my brain and I just signed up for NaNoWriMo. NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) participants pledge to write a 50,000 word novel between November 1st and November 30th. I decided that I'm not ready to write a traditional novel, so I'm taking a different approach. I'm taking my Mad Blogging Skillzz into the world of fiction and creating a Serialized, Interactive, Online Novel ("SION"???) written in first person (and hosted on blogger of course). I'm hoping I can catch a few suckers who start reading it and think it's a real person. Fun!

I'm excited and I'll be just as surprised as you if it ends up having a compelling plot. I have not outlined. I have not done character development. But tomorrow is November 1st and Elizabeth Mimi Forster ("Mimi") is about to come to life and I have a few ideas swirling in my head, along with the rising anxiety levels.

~~~

Happy Halloween, everyone! Bring on Thanksgiving and Christmas!

Housekeeping

Okay, I like to joke about my poor domestic skills and pretend I'm totally cool with the fact that I live in Slob City. Between you and me, however, that's all a lie I tell myself so I don't have a nervous breakdown. I'm jealous of people who are so on top of their housework and I secretly feel better about myself when I walk into somebody else's messy house. Both emotions arise from unhealthy comparisons, so I try to talk myself out of them.

The truth is that if I were to stop comparing my toxic waste levels to others, I'd realize that I'm genuinely unhappy with things because I don't want to live this way. This is neither awesome nor attractive. (Funny side note: I was watching TV yesterday and there was a truck commercial where one guy goes, "That's awesome" and then the other guy goes, "Very attractive" or something like that. I couldn't believe my ears. Did they totally just steal the "awesome & attractive" bit from Kung Fu Panda?!? How transparent. See, it's funny on a personal blog where I am expected to make references to pop culture on occasion. Less funny when copywriters are getting paid to not-so-subtly steal good lines from other writers. You could say there is no charge, but actually there was.)

Wait, what was I saying before I got sidetracked? Oh yeah, the unawesomeness of a cluttered life. So, ahem, I do not really live in a pigsty. After much hard work and advance notice, my house looks decent for company. It's never spotless but it looks presentable so that people who read my blog say, "Your house isn't that dirty." I smile and try to thank them for the ?compliment?.

I've discovered something important. If I invite people over and let them make a mess, they clean it up and then they keep cleaning. This happened twice in the last few days. Once at a playdate and yesterday at my impromptu Pumpkin Carving Family Night Party. Both times, people apologized for the mess they'd made and started to clean it up. I'm not one to protest and tell them I'll clean it up later. I mean... I will clean it up later. But it might be several days/weeks/months later depending on what it is, so I might as well take the help that's offered. 

Then comes the funny part. They think they need to clean until it's back to a "clean level" which it most certainly wasn't before they got there. At this point, I'm tempted to let them keep cleaning so that I come out better in the end, but my conscience forbids. I have to say, "This is already cleaner than it was when you got here. Don't worry about it! I'll clean this up ... eventually" It's pretty funny. Yesterday, I actually couldn't resist the temptation when my brother-in-law told my nephew to wipe the counter clean. I started to protest, but then I decided that it's an aunt's job to help her nephews build character. So I smiled and walked away. The counter was fairly clean before they got there, so I don't feel too guilty.

The other thing I've learned is that people either think I'm rich or they get really tired of hearing me talk about how dirty my house is, because I have been battered for years to hire a housecleaning service. This irritates me every single time. If my great-great-grandmother could walk across the plains and build a house from the sandy desert floor up, I can keep a stinkin' house clean. Or if I can't, then I'll just live this way until I figure it out!

Well, okay, that's a lie. I am seriously considering calling for help here pretty quick, but not for a permanent hire; just an intense round of "spring cleaning" to get everything really clean one time. I am a stay-at-home Mom, for heavens sake. If I can't keep my house clean, what's the point of me being the parent to stay at home? It hurts my ego way too much to have somebody else do my work for me.

I just need to move to a different part of the world where it's considered my responsibility to financially support others by getting domestic help. Then I can have my cake, eat it too while the nanny feeds the kids cake in a different room, and have somebody else clean the dishes afterward and sweep the crumbs away.

SNL

I've never been a big Saturday Night Live fan, but this is too good not to share:

Dubya Endorses McCain & Palin

Yo Yo Yogaaaauuuuuggghh!

Being aware of television's subtlely dangerous influence is one thing. Being able to resist the enticements, even when you know that some ad executive's rhetoric shouldn't sway you, is quite another. 

My son, Joseph, thinks that all advertisements are like documentaries. "But Mom," he says, "If you try new Cotton Scented Soap-O,* you're going to like it!" He has the simple faith of a child, even when that simple faith drives me completely around the bend. I try to explain that I'd rather pay half the price for the store brand that pay for the Latest Greatest, and he just doesn't get it yet. 

As a Communications Major, I took classes about how to persuade people to believe what I was telling them. So when I watch ads, I sit there feeling manipulated and irritated. Especially when it works. I ought to know better.

Which is a long way of saying, I was watching something on TV last night and it really stuck in my head. Luckily, it was not something trying to make me part with my money. It was one of the "Trainer's Tips" on The Biggest Loser. Bob Harper was extolling the virtues of yoga as a way of getting healthy. 

I've thought about yoga before and thought it sounded interesting, but I never really thought of it as a legitimate way to exercise. I thought it was a hippie dippie way of stretching and becoming one with your inner... whatever. Which is cool, but not what I thought I needed.

...Until it kicked my butt this afternoon. I did a total of 15 minutes. Count them: 15. And then I fell over exhausted and in pain. The pain was from my wrists, which are definitely not up to any sort of dog: up, down or otherwise. Putting any weight on them at all is quite uncomfortable. 

Other than that, though, I could feel that it was a really good workout and my body feels more loose and comfortable than it has in weeks. It was quite invigorating and I wish I could have done more, but my body (wrists) refused. Maybe I'll try it again someday, a long time from now when I have healthy hands. In the meantime, count me among the believers.

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent who might believe that "Cotton Scented Soap-O" really is that enticing.

ONE more time

I'm sure I'd be a much more interesting person if I had brilliant new thoughts every day to share. If I could give people one "WOW" moment once a week, people'd be checking the site everyday.

Unfortunately, I'm just your average slightly-obsessively-minded person who generally has a lot of the same things on her mind each day. So my blog gets repetitive. Such is life. If you think my blog is boring, just imagine living inside this head. (Yeah, I know: scary!)

With that prelude, I have tried to encourage people to take action on global poverty in the past and today is no exception. We sit and cry when we hear the stories, then we go back to our normal lives and tell our friends we "totally need a massage" today. Don't get me started on the society of entitlement we live in. It wouldn't be pretty.

But today, I decided to let somebody else plead the cause for me; somebody who was my idol as a teenager. Enjoy!



Why I like ONE.org:

1. They don't ask you for your money.
2. They ask small things of their 2.5 million members, counting on 2.5 million voices as carrying weight of their.
3. Most action items only take a few seconds to complete--just read the email, and click to sign your name to the petition. How hard is that? (Sorry, Warren Buffett.)
4. Like I said, Bono was my idol as a teenager. (Though it was Larry Mullen Jr., the drummer of U2, who really made me swoon, but that's neither here nor there.) So, okay, the Glam approach sucked me in. I admit it. But once I got started, I loved the power of adding ONE voice to a serious global problem!

Welcoming a Daughter

Of my parents' seven grandchildren, there are exactly zero granddaughters. I'm very excited to be the first to welcome a new little girl to the family... No, I'm not pregnant. Even better: Josh and I just agreed to start sponsoring a little girl at a Cambodian orphanage. We're thrilled. She may not be part of our family legally or by birth, but she's part of our family now anyway.

She was sent to the orphanage because her father is sick and unable to work. Her mother cannot support the family, so they sent their young daughter away so she could get an education and have a promising future. I don't know yet if she has any siblings or if she ever gets to see her parents. I'll find out soon.

Our support for her is twofold: monetary and emotional support. The money is minimal, just $30 a month. (By paying for her room and board at the orphanage, the orphanage can use their limited funds to improve the orphanage and buys books and supplies.) The real commitment is in staying in contact with our new "daughter" through email. She will try to send us email in the English she is learning at school, and we will in turn try to contact her as often as she wants in the simplest words we can. I'm sure there are older students who can help her translate our words. The language barrier may be a difficulty, but I have no doubt that my husband will start learning Khmer soon. He loves languages. ;)

When I was in high school, I randomly met somebody on the internet who was from Cambodia. He told me his family had been killed by the Pol Pot regime and he had fled the country. The story he told me was shocking. That story is becoming more important to me now as I learn about the goals of this orphanage.

According to Wikipedia, "They discarded Western medicine, destroyed temples, libraries, and anything considered western. Any person with trained skills, doctors, lawyers, teachers, were especially targeted. With that result, hundreds of thousands died from starvation and disease.  There were almost no drugs in the country."

Earlier this year, I attended a charity event for the orphanage and asked if it is possible to adopt children from the orphanage. They told me that the goal is to help educate the children to become leaders within the country, since so much of the educated class was wiped out by Pol Pot. (Estimates are between one and three million people.) So our goal in supporting our new "daughter" is to help her receive an education and feel confident in developing skills that will help Cambodia recover from the brutality of past decades.

If you're interested in learning more about the program you can see more online at Email Foster Parents.

The Fun Mom Project

A year or two ago, I was asked by my Relief Society to put together a list of fun things for kids to do during the summertime. The project grew so big that I wanted to share it with other people as well, so I put the information on a website. That project morphed into a now-much-neglected site called Fun To Do.

When I started the project, I had no idea how much fun stuff there is to do in my little corner of the world. I had always thought that I lived in a very boring little community. I was amazed to discover that I could stay busy every day with fun events just in Utah County. If I was willing to take a drive up to Salt Lake, there would just be too many options to choose from.

I started a Calendar of Events for child-friendly activities and was amazed at how happy I became. To explain why, I need to back up a little bit. When I first had kids, I realized that many doors were now closed to me. My oldest child was tempermental as a baby and prone to just start screaming his head off with no warning. We didn't dare take him to restaurants or movies and going to church was an exercise in humility. (Still is.) So we found ourselves suddenly stuck in the house most of the time. My husband was working full-time and in school, so my life suddenly became very dark and boring. I missed the old days when I could drive up to Salt Lake to have an impromptu lunch with Josh or see him off at the airport when he went on business trips. With a cranky baby, you just don't do that kind of thing.

By the time I started FunToDo, the cranky baby was a mischevious, but easier to manage, preschooler and the twins were toddlers. The husband was still commuting to work and in classes. My life still seemed to be filled with a lot of Closed Doors. When I started my Calendar of Events, I suddenly found doors opening! I realized that there are a LOT of fun child-friendly things to do. Maybe they aren't quite as awesome for a grown adult, but they're a lot awesomer than sitting in the house resenting the Closed Doors.

We started getting out. We went to the Springville City Art Days and sat in the shade of huge trees by the Art Museum while watching the parade. I took Joseph down to Springville another time for a little Hot Air Balloon event. It was much smaller than the Freedom Festival one and much more enjoyable because of the small crowd. They threw candy down from the balloons and Joseph was in heaven. Seeing him giggle made me smile.

Then I lost steam. There is SO much information that I got overwhelmed. I'm not a software engineer or a real web guru. I needed a good data management system but had none. I was working with tools that I couldn't customize and couldn't control. I felt like I could never stay on top of everything so it just sort of fizzled out. Now, the only things on the calendar are the recurring items that I set up a year and a half ago. There is still a world of information on the other pages and I recently found my old Halloween page. I'd totally forgotten about it and I wish I had one for every holiday!

A few days ago, I told my husband that I want to revive the project, but I need his help. I thought it might be fun for him to work in a new development environment with a big web project, and it would thrill me to have this site really fine-tuned with a better calendar, good data management and a ratings & review system. If we get it all working and I find a lot of traffic coming to the site, I'll be motivated enough to add some of the bonus features that I've thought about, like a page about local preschools or a listings of classes and lessons available for kids. There is really a lot available that could be brought together in a central location. It could also be a great place for people to advertise piano lessons, cello lessons, etc. etc. And if you knew the headaches I went through trying to find a preschool for my twins, you'd understand my desire to get them all listed in a central location.

A few questions remain: how do I bankroll this little project? The Google Ads on the site net me about 50 cents a week, if it's a good week. I'm at about 15 dollars total now I think. And a project like this could get expensive, hosting the domain, driving to different locations to snag photos or get info, paying admission fees, etc. Granted it would be a lot of fun, but it's not exactly in the budget.

Also, how can I keep my information better organized so I don't get swamped? What information would be best to include? Good search features for the calendar of events so people don't get swamped with information? Regular articles on the main page with information about upcoming events? Contests with rewards for people who attend events? If so, can I find sponsors? If there is money involved at all, do I need to set up a Nonprofit or a Single Owner Business or an LLC? Which would be best? What do I really want from this anyway?

And so the stress begins and I start to feel overwhelmed. I need a good partner to keep me grounded or I need a clear plan of what I want to do. Help! Where do I go from here? How do I keep those doors open instead of closed?

Job Change

After months of phone interviews, on-site interviews, resume touch ups and stress, Josh just accepted a new job today! Sort of.

Back in July, Josh started brushing off his resume and job shopping. He interviewed at a local company, which later extended him an offer of employment. The plus sides would have been a two-minute commute, a fun new project, change of (workplace) scenery and at least one great coworker (a friend of mine from high school). After weighing our options, however, Josh turned the job down and then spent weeks wondering if he'd made the right decision.

Our experience at another company was a little less straightforward. I've been bugging (I mean, encouraging) Josh to submit his resume to Google for years now. You know how I am about Google. "Enthusiastic" is hardly the word. I'm a Google geek of ginormous proportions. So we asked my brother-in-law, who works at Google, to submit his resume last summer. He did so and then called a while later to tell us that he had been approved for a phone interview.

I was thrilled, because I wasn't really expecting anything to happen. Google is ranked as the #1 Best Company to Work For because they have amazingly awesome benefits, like free gourmet food, massages, arranged transport to work to save on gas  (at the Mountain View location), and 20% of your work time that you can spend on other projects. I call that last perk "Build Your Own Resume" and I think it sounds awesome. Because Google is such a fabulous employer, they receive bazillions of resumes from people with very impressive credentials. They boast of hiring the Best & Brightest from places like MIT and Stanford. I know my husband is a freakin' awesome software engineer, but I doubted that it would come through on a sterile resume.

So we were thrilled and awaited the phone interview eagerly. And then we kept waiting. Finally, the day came. I was resting on the couch, trying to nap when the phone rang. I lazily checked caller ID (I never answer the phone.. sorry..) and saw the word "GOOGLE." I answered immediately and tried to play it cool, as if I wasn't completely thrilled to be talking to "Google." The recruiter told me how excited she was to talk to Josh and I gave her his cell number. She called him, had an initial screening interview and said she'd email him some information to look over, asking him to try to get it back to her as soon as possible.

In the meantime, she said she'd arrange a phone interview with an engineer. All day, I checked Josh's gmail account, waiting for the information to arrive so we could reply immediately. Then waited some more. Several days passed and the email never arrived. No word about when the phone interview would take place. We tried to call the recruiter and couldn't reach her. She didn't return our calls. All this while Josh was getting ready to interview at the local company. 

So, a week later, Josh was at an on site interview with the local company when I saw the 310 area code on caller ID. 310 is the area code where my sister lives.. the sister whose husband works at Google! I again answered eagerly, but got a surprise. The man on the other end said, "Umm I had an interview with your husband scheduled for 30 minutes ago but I can't get a hold of him on his cell phone." So after much hassle and craziness, Josh had his Google phone interview IMMEDIATELY after returning from an interview at the local company, and with zero time to prepare for the Google interview. The recruiter forgot to tell Josh about the interview! Argh!

He did the best he could and we eventually heard from the recruiter again. She said they wanted to fly Josh out for an on site interview and he would be contacted soon about travel arrangements. We were so excited! We couldn't believe this was actually happening! So Josh scheduled time off work and I started researching living costs in Santa Monica. Then we never heard from the travel people. It was a day before Josh was supposed to leave when we finally heard from the recruiter again. She apologized and said they'd changed their policies. They now required TWO phone interviews before an on site interview. So Josh had another phone interview, again with almost no time to prepare.

We then waited and waited (of course) to hear back from the recruiter. Just when I was convinced that they had ruled him out, the recruiter called and said they officially wanted to fly him out for an on site interview. (No, but seriously this time!) It had been weeks since we heard from her. We were excited and eventually heard from the travel people and eventually got everything all set up. So Josh flew out to Santa Monica and felt he did a decent job at the interviews. (When you interview on site at Google, it's a kind of marathon. They take you into a room and send in engineer after engineer to grill you about various aspects of software engineering and math. )

The best part of the interview was that Josh went to Portos the next day and brought home a box of pastries for us to share! Ha ha ha ha ha.... I'm such a geek, but it is tradition since my trip to American Idol.

During this process, Josh had started receiving a bit of "encouragement" at work to switch over to a new company within the same project. (Josh works for IHC, in a project building a next generation of software to use within hospitals. The project is a joint project between IHC and GE Healthcare, so although he works for IHC, he has a GE email address and is essentially paid for by GE, if I understand correctly. So he was being pressured to officially become a GE employee instead of IHC: same project, but the paycheck and benefits come from a different company.) He didn't want to agree to make the switch if he was going to be leaving the project altogether, so he hemmed and hawed and put it off for a long time.

I finally convinced him that if Google made him an offer, it would be better to lay it out side-by-side with an offer from GE and evaluate them together. So he finally applied at GE and got the ball rolling around the time he flew out to Santa Monica. A week and a half ago, he finally got the verbal job offer from GE and it included better benefits and a pay raise. He asked them to give him a week so he could see if Google was going to come through with an offer. 

I think it was that same day that he got a call from Google saying that they wanted to run him through one more phone interview. I thought this process would NEVER END! It was started to feel very frustrating and my research on housing prices in Santa Monica was not promising. Making the move to LA would require us to live in a small three-bedroom apartment, leaving our 4700 square foot home behind. (We rent out the basement, so we're not actually living in 4700 square feet, but it would still be a HUGE lifestyle change.) I was excited about the idea of living somewhere different, but I had an increasing feeling of panic when I thought about it.

Last week was horrid. The recruiter, true to form, wouldn't return Josh's calls. Friday came and we knew we wanted to make a decision over the weekend because Josh had promised GE an answer by Monday. Josh had communicated this to the recruiter the week before and she had promised to get back to us. Friday morning, gone... Friday afternoon, gone... almost. Josh finally got the phone call at the very end of his work day when we had given up hope. They weren't able to offer him the kind of job he wanted. They recommended he consider a different sort of engineering job, which he hadn't really considered before. He was disappointed and stressed to have to think through something so unexpected. We talked about it all weekend, stressed and felt very tense.

This morning, he decided to go talk to a fellow IHC employee to get some advice, before making a decision. It was a good and informative conversation and we talked it over afterwards. We made a decision and feel very good about it.

Drum roll please? Josh just accepted a new job at GE Healthcare and called Google to tell them he wasn't interested in continuing the process with them. He'll be at the same office, same coworkers, same responsibilities, same job... but get a pay raise and better benefits out of it. I call that a win-win-win situation. I'm excited for this slightly new chapter in our life. I'm excited he'll be working for a company that gives him sick time again. All of his PTO at IHC was used for sick days and we haven't done anything really FUN as a family in ... okay, never. Now we'll be able to actually save up some PTO and take a family vacation. In fact, we might do it "between jobs" to celebrate. Who knows?

So I get to stay in my wonderful home, in my wonderful neighborhood with wonderful neighbors. I will continue to live within 10 minutes of (almost) all my siblings and both my parents. I still get to gaze fondly out my window at the snowy peaks of Mount Timpanogos. I get to enjoy all the perks of a Four Season climate with sunshine in the summer and snow ball fights in the winter. I get to really be thrilled as the first little crocuses peek out of the brown dirt each spring, and bask in the gorgeous changing leaf colors in the Alpine Loop each Autumn.

And with a pay raise, we get to leave all that loveliness behind more often and travel to places that are ... nonUtahy ... but always know our home will be waiting for us after we've had our fun.

Shortest Autumn Ever

When I blogged about how my roses would bloom until the first frost, I wasn't quite expecting things to happen so quickly. I was very surprised to wake up to this Sunday morning:

Snow? Seriously? Wow. At least Mother Nature remembered (eventually) which season it is supposed to be, because today is the perfect Autumn day. We went to a local garden center and chose pumpkins of all sizes for the front porch. I bought my third annual Awesome Green Gourd. I'll have to take some pictures of the Green Awesomeness.

Six of my Mom's seven Grandsons, picking perfect pumpkins:

When I saw the snow on the lawn, I was almost ready to skip past Halloween and Thanksgiving. I started formulating Christmas shopping lists in my mind and felt determined to get Christmas cards out at a record-setting pre-December 25th this year. Then it dawned on me that it was still October. I felt deflated. Last year, I never felt psyched for the holidays and now I feel like can't come soon enough.

While I'm enjoying the too-early-Spirit of the Season, I might plan a Christmas party. A friend of mine, Heather, aka sister's friend, aka wife of my sister's friend from high school, aka sister-in-law to my ex-boyfriend (who was my sister's friend's brother... did you follow all that?), aka talented photographer, aka very funny lady, invited me to their annual Christmas Sing-in last year and it was a blast. Now that we have a piano, I thought it'd be fun to host a Sing-in of my own. The idea is perfect: find a pianist, invite anybody who loves to sing Christmas carols and prepare piles of holiday food. It's the ideal recipe for happy memories.

And if I plan now, maybe I'll be ready to make it actually happen come December. So "Yea!" for early snow storms that remind me to prepare for Christmas before the third week of December. And "Yea!" for snow storms that remind me exactly why Autumn (not winter) is my favorite season of the year. And a few "Pretty Please!" wishes that Autumn will last a little longer and the snow can be saved until December or January.

Still waiting for it to be funny

When something horridly human happens, I usually wait a few minutes/hours/days for it to become humorous enough to blog about. I'm still waiting for last Friday to become funny to me, but the incident is stubbornly annoying still.

* I'm still annoyed that a pleasant family outing to Lagoon with Josh and Joseph turned into something so not pleasant.

* I'm still annoyed that I knew it was time to leave... and I told Joseph we were leaving... and then I ignored that little voice in my head and decided to go check out the supposedly-wicked-awesome roller coaster "Wicked" instead.

* It's still not funny that we have to replace my husband's glasses because they fell off of him while on a roller coaster. I know it's funny to YOU, but it's still not funny to me. We don't have vision insurance and glasses are pricey.

* It's still not funny that we have eye infections goin' around, so my husband couldn't wear contacts all weekend either.

* It's still not funny that we waited until after the roller coaster closed past 11 p.m. for them to go look around below "Wicked" to try to find the glasses and we still had to walk away empty-handed.

* It's still not funny how bitterly cold and windy it was at 11:30 p.m. in Farmington.

* It's still not funny that we were literally the last visitor car in the parking lot.

* It's still not funny when I remember the tears running down Joseph's cheeks as he begged us to just let him go home and go to sleep because he was so tired and so cold. 

* It's especially not funny that I encouraged Joseph to pray that the people would be able to find Daddy's glasses, and then they couldn't find them. Not the message I was trying to send to my child, but I'm sure there's a more important message in the wings. Something about keeping faith even when things don't make sense or something about sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes the answer is no. I just wanted the simple "yes" this time to teach my son simple faith.

* I'm still annoyed that I just knew we shouldn't have gone over to that roller coaster but I went anyway. It's not funny that I couldn't think of a single earthly reason not to follow the group instead of following my gut instinct so I kept my mouth shut.

It'll be funny soon enough. But as of today, there is nothing funny about any of this. Please stop laughing.

Guess Again

Josh likes to distract the children from their antics by playing the guessing game with them. It started out like this a few minutes ago:

"I built a boat..."

"Noah!"

"No... I built a boat, and I dreamed about a big tree with white fruit..."

"Noah!"

"No..."

"Noah!"

"I have two brothers who were mean to me and hit me with sticks..."

Whereupon, the answer we all knew was coming. Elijah yelled, "IS IT ME?!?!?"

I saw that coming but it was still priceless.

Good Service/Bad Service

This post is dedicated to my friend Mariah, who is in a world of hurt. I wish I could make everything all better, but I can't, so I'll share a few memories with her and tell her I love her.

About 5 1/2 years ago, Joseph was about a year old and a miracle occurred: I got pregnant. After years of infertility and using infertility drugs to get pregnant with Joseph, I found myself with a positive result the natural route. I was beyond thrilled. I was so excited for Joseph to have a little playmate that would be so close in age. 

I went in for my appointment and the doctor said that since my pregnancies are always high risk, he wanted me to go in for an ultrasound. I didn't question this because we'd done the same thing with Joseph. (And we did the same thing later with the twins...)

When I went in for the ultrasound, the person doing the ultrasound was very cold to me. She never smiled, never tried to explain things to me or show me what was happening. But she immediately started asking me questions: "Why did the doctor send you here today?" 

I explained. She refused to accept my explanation. She said, "They don't send people in for no reason like that. Did he tell you you might be miscarrying?" 

Starting to feel a bit annoyed and a bit concerned, I said no, he just sent me in to check things out like he'd done with my first pregnancy. She continued to argue with me that he couldn't have sent me in for the reasons I had stated. I hate to say that she seemed to very SMUG when she showed me there was no heartbeat and the fetus (embryo?) was much too small for the age. She said it had died weeks before and my body just hadn't expelled it yet.

I was devastated, of course. No amount of kindness would have made that moment a happy one. But having a messenger who didn't rub it in my face and seem proud to use it as a moment to prove her own superior knowledge would have been a step in the right direction. I have no idea if my ob/gyn sent me in that day knowing what was coming, but he certainly showed a bit more discretion and concern for my feelings.

Skip forward to this week. No, I'm not pregnant. This isn't about pregnancy. Don't SCARE me by making assumptions like that. Sheesh, people.

I have an eye infection. It was so horrible by Sunday that I was miserable. My whole body felt sick and I knew I had to do something about it. Joseph had been suffering with an eye infection since Tuesday and his prescription wasn't really making much of a difference for him. So I hemmed and hawed and finally called my eye doctor's office, hoping they might be working an after-hours shift. They weren't but my (angelic) doctor left his home phone number and cell phone on the answering machine, saying to call if it was an emergency.

After much debating the definition of the word "emergency" I decided to just call and ask him one question.

After getting him on the line, I explained briefly what was going on and said, "Would you recommend I wait until tomorrow to come into your office to see you, or should I go to Instacare today?"

He replied, "Well, I wouldn't do either one of those. I think we need to get you some relief right away." And just like that, he called in a prescription for me so I could start getting better. I think I cried. I'm crying now at any rate. His kindness and concern for my health meant the world to me.

This is how life is. We have crappy times. Things hurt. The people around us cannot make the pain go away right away, but they can boost our spirits by showing kindness and humanity. I pray I remember that when my friends and family are feeling down.

Not as hazy

Things today are not quite as blurry as yesterday, but I still have a pretty awesome headache and I'm super tired from not sleeping last night. Thanks to Heidi who brought me a loaf of zucchini bread: it saved my bacon this morning when I was too tired to think about breakfast!

I'm totally in love ... with my rose bushes. They're still blooming and they'll bloom until the first hard frost. Then we'll go out that morning, and there will be beautiful, half-opened rose buds covered in ice. They'll stay like that until the spring when we start pruning. The first home Josh & I bought, when we first got married, had a yard that was lined with rose bushes all around. It was insane. We counted them up and there were over 50! That's way too much work for anybody--pruning 50+ rose bushes each spring, and dead heading thousands of flowers during the year. Yikes! 

So in our new house, we have one small area for roses by the front door. So far, we have one miniature rose, one climbing rose that we just planted this summer and two hybrid teas. One is the famous "Peace" rose, which has an amazing story that I love. Peace is colored in a beautiful way: yellow at the very center of the bud, fading to cream and then turning pink on the tips. Each rose is different and each is absolutely stunning. 

The other is a cultivar of the Peace rose, named "Chicago Peace." It has the same color habits, but stronger, richer colors. Each rose is an absolute prize! We love our rose bushes and they give us dozens of roses each time they bloom. Each year we prune them down to about 18-24" high and chop them into a few stems. But by the end of the summer... wow! "Peace" is now embarrasingly taller than myself.

The only downside to the roses? I'm allergic to the smell! Ha! If I stop to smell the roses (which I have to do) my whole head feels heavy until I step away and breathe in some clean air.

Here are a few pictures to show off our current roses and the roses from the last house we lived in. Enjoy!

In other news, what do you do when you're unhappy with the world around you? Feeling irritated with your government leaders? Not sure who to vote for? Start your own campaign! I'm pleased to announce my part in the GNU Public Dictatorship. We're here to hear you! And we have a great logo, thanks to the logo contest we just held.

But before you click that link, please keep in mind that I'm not actually a delusional, power-hungry tyrant. Nor do I play out my fantasies by pretending to be one. It's an old joke from high school and we decided to renew it BLOGGER style! So if you want to get misinformed about the latest public events, don't forget to subscribe to the Misinformation Campaign.

(My friend and co-conspirator, Tim, is a software engineer by day and has the most amazing knack for misinformation that I've ever seen. It's always a treat to see what he's come up with. Be sure to go back to his post about the dangers of brads and the evil men who force them on the public: "Brad Guys." My other friend who contributes to the site (though less regularly) is my almost-brother Craig. When he posted his logo design, I laughed until I cried.)

Good news for other aspiring world dictators: we're looking for a few good men and women to join our ranks in the quest for world domination ... and kooky blogging hijinks. Yes, it's geeky. Yes, it's really geeky. Yes, psychologists may deem you delusional. But what the hey? They MIGHT be giants. We'll be posting the application form soon. If you actually fill it out (the more misinformation, the better) you'll have an excellent chance of making the team.

Haze

Life has become a haze, figuratively and literally. Our family's sickness it having its' hopefully final hurrah as I fight off an eye infection like no other. Joseph has had this for an entire week and is only today close enough to better that I could send him to school. I've had it since Friday and I'm amazed at how one little eye infection can lay waste to my health. My vision is a bit blurry from the excess eye moisture, I have a rip roarin' headache when I keep my eyes open too long and my energy is drained and gone.

I just want to curl up and sleep. Please. 

Book Talk :: Amelia Peabody

Eloquence goes out the window when I'm talking about something that I adore. Enthusiasm takes over and I happily blubber. To wit:

I love the Amelia Peabody books! SO funny! So satirical! So amazingly awesome! This is a series of 18 books by Elizabeth Peters, an Egyptologist and incredibly popular author. The books begin near the close of the 19th century as bold and sassy Amelia Peabody decides to take her new fortune and travel to see the antiquities of Egypt.

Her travels bring her new friendships, new enemies, an unexpected passion for archeology and ... could it be the love of her life? Later books chronicle the entanglements of her precocious son, her ever-growing family of Brits and Egyptians and an elusive Master Criminal with excellent taste in women.

These books are best categorized as satirical Adventure/Mystery/Historical Drama/Comedy/Victorian Romance. They are also best described as great fun!

New York Times Book Review said, "Between Amelia Peabody and Indiana Jones, it’s Amelia - in wit and daring - by a landslide." Washington Post Book World said, "Peters is the grande dame of historical mystery." I couldn't agree more.

Who wouldn't love a main character who says things like:

"Marriage should be a balanced stalemate between equal adversaries."

"No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it."

"It is difficult to be angry with a gentleman who pays you compliments . . . especially impertinent compliments."

"The trouble with unknown enemies is that they are so difficult to identify."

"I hope I number patience among my virtues, but shilly-shallying, when nothing is to be gained by the delay, is not a virtue."

"When one is striding bravely into the future one cannot watch one's footing."

"There are occasions upon which a candid expression of opinion may not only be rude, but counterproductive."

I read library copies of most of these books and have recently decided that it's time to build up my own library of Amelia Peabody.  Soon I will be able to laugh whenever I want to. I now have the first book, Crocodile on the Sandbank, ready to be lent out to whoever is lucky enough to email me first. :)