A Mother's Day Tribute

I love and respect my mom, but that's not what I'm going to blog about today. Each year, when Mother's day rolls around, my mind goes back to the years before I had kids. I have infertility problems, so every month after I got married would be another negative pregnancy test. Every month: another heartbreak. People made very unkind comments, assuming that I didn't want kids. One of my husband's aunts actually said, "Well, I guess you're just more interested in money." As if!

My sister had gone through all sorts of infertility treatments with no luck, so I assumed it would be the same for me. Imagine my surprise when I got pregnant with Joseph the first month after seeing the infertility doctor! I was completely shocked. I thought, "I should have tried this sooner. Duh!"

I was even more surprised when I conceived naturally about a year after Joseph was born. Those of you who know me will know that that ended in a heartbreaking miscarriage. I was in emotional wasteland at that point. We were living with my Mom while building our new house and it was a very stressful time other than the miscarriage. I chose to miscarry naturally, since all of my births are via c-section. "This is one thing I can do without help," I said to my OB. He agreed. I remember when the moment came and I was all alone.

A year after that, I was on infertility drugs and again I will never forget the moment the ultrasound tech said, "Are you on fertility treatment?" and I said, "Yeah, how can you tell?" (Duh!) Then she pointed out the TWO embryos in there. It felt right immediately. We never had any doubts and I remember thinking, "I came in expecting only one. But if I miscarried now and only had one, it would feel like a death in the family."

Each child was so wanted and so looked forward to. I adore my boys and can't imagine life without them. They are like colors on the rainbow: completely different from each other but beautiful in their own way. Here are a few moments from the last few hours:

Joseph

Today at lunch I was fiddling around, trying to get some lunch preparations done. Josh had made the lunch but I was helping serve some things up. (I'm sick again! And this is worse than before! Grrr!) Joseph said to me, "Mommy, you're sick so you really ought to sit down. Dad can get that stuff." He's so thoughtful! He loves to tell people how pretty they look and how much he loves them. He has the biggest heart.

Thomas

He came to sit on my lap a few minutes ago and said, "I love you, Mommy! I love you, Mommy! I love you, Mommy!" Then he started saying, "Mommy loves Joseph? Mommy loves Thomas? Mommy loves Elijah?" and grinning when I said, "Of course!" Another moment worth mentioning was when Josh grabbed a bottle of glue an hour ago and said, "Thomas, what does this say?" He thought for about a second and answered, "Glue All." Whoa!! Then we asked him to read the word "NO" and he couldn't do it. Funny kid. I don't know how he learns so much so quickly.

Elijah

Elijah is sitting here by me with a Sunday shirt on, with the sleeves rolled up and a cooking apron over it. It's adorable. He was helping daddy make lunch, putting potatoes in a pot and rearranging celery. He loves to be helpful and he is the most sociable child I know. Every day, when he wakes up from nap, he wants to lie down on the couch with me and have snuggle time. He sits there giggling and smiling and saying, "Don't close eyes, Mommy!"

I love you, kiddos. You light up my life and cheer me up, even when you wear me out. Happy Mother's Day to my sweet children who make this day meaningful for me.