The week Eden was born, my husband received an email from a fabulous company, inviting him to interview with them. Unfortunately, although the company is considered one of the best in the world to work for, they don't have any offices nearby. It really got me thinking about life, especially about convenience vs. deliberate action.
My life right now is very convenient. It's comfortable. Is that a good thing? Or am I missing out on personal growth by sticking with the status quo? I feel like the time for adventure and relocating is probably pre-children. Especially pre-grade school.
My oldest son overheard us talking about what life would be like in southern California or Silicon Valley or Seattle or Colorado and was not happy. He has made it very, very clear that he doesn't want to move anywhere. He is comfortable. Life is good for him. He has friends and just got accepted into a great new school program for 3rd grade. Would it be selfish to take him away from that? Would it make his anxieties and worries (which are already an enormous burden for someone so young) unbearable?
...or....
Would it be like "coming home" when we never knew what we were missing? Would it be like finding that comfortable little niche of the world that makes our hearts feel happy? As much as I love the convenience and comfort of my life in Utah, I don't really love my area itself. Our "main street" is a stretch of one-story, grey cinder-block buildings with enormously ugly marquees in front with large power lines overhead and no greenery in sight. Ugh. It would be nice to live in a city that was planned out and had great character.
It's too much for me to think about. I have a newborn baby that won't let me sleep until midnight and three crazy, wild boys who are awake at 6:15 a.m. every morning. Life is so tiring right now and I am NOT thriving.
...but would I thrive somewhere else? Or just drown completely?
Life is confusing.
If I may be so bold as to offer some insight into what it feels like to live the life of a nomad...
ReplyDeleteI moved eighteen times before I turned twenty. I only went to the same elementary school for two grades in a row one time. I had to make new friends every year - only to have to say goodbye when school was out.
There were a few downsides - it is really scary to do that. You never get over the nervousness of approaching a new person and trying to be their friend.
But - it made me and my siblings stronger. We had to learn to put ourselves out there - be outgoing. We learned to deal with defeat and with success. We adapt really easily to change. And we are tight as a family because no matter where we were or if we had good friends or not - we had each other, always and forever.
I'm sure that does nothing to sway you one way or another. Just sayin'. :)
My first big move (New York to California) was when I was about 6. A few years later we moved from Marin to the East Bay, which isn't very far but still means new schools and new friends. Sure, it's disruptive, but looking back I'm glad I had that broader experience.
ReplyDeleteIt can be fun to go back to a place where you used to live, and even more so if you can do that in more than one place :)
I think that it's different for everyone. What might work for someone else doesn't always work for you. We have had many times where we have had to make a decision about moving. Every time we approached the decision with an open mind and prayer. For us, the answer has always been to stay. You'll know what to do in time. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteComfortable is good, to a point. Get too comfortable and you slow or stop growing. I have to think some more about what 'too comfortable' means. I think some people can live in the same house for fifty years and have a good life. Other people, probably me included, might stagnate. I grew up moving a lot and I don't regret the people and places I learned about. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Good questions and now you've got me thinking. ha ha ha.
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