I know, I know. The whole idea of "self affirmations" sounds so silly that you wouldn't be caught dead practicing it, must less blogging about it. That's what makes you appear normal and what makes me appear quirky. I'm okay with that.
I have been thinking a lot about the choices we make to be happy or sad or angry or amused. I'll blog more about that later. I picked up a magazine article about self-affirmations and thought it would be a fun experiment to try. The idea is that by putting these validating principles in your mind, you are taking that first step toward choosing to make that thing a reality.
So here are some positive affirmations to go with some random thoughts about life. Enjoy.
"I am beautiful."
I went through all of my youth convinced that I was unrepairably ugly. That's a sad way to live as a teenager. It was so built in to my self image that I didn't even bother fighting it.
Well, I'm fighting it now. I feel more beautiful at 30 than I did at 18, despite being 75 pounds heavier. (ACK!) I may never be a paragon of beauty, but I can at least put an effort into it. This year I've lost 20 pounds and I am planning to keep going. I am more adventurous with my clothing, hair and makeup than I was as a teenager. (Keeping in mind that going from 0 to 3 on a scale of 100 may not be amazing to you, but I am happy with an improvement.)
Which brings us to today: I'm getting braces. Again. I had them for over five years. All through high school and most of college. (Wow.. it occurs to me that I started 9th grade when I was 15 and had finished almost all of my college coursework by age 20. That's an amazing five years.) I'm embarrassed to be doing this all over again. I'm not happy. But I'm grateful that I can do it, even though it will make me feel like a clumsy teenager again.
"I am talented."
I got an email from somebody this morning, telling me I'd found a spot on their list of the top 50 Mormon websites. Since I have no idea how they determined their top 50, I'm not going to let myself get too carried away here, but it's fun to be recognized. Check it out here:
Apparently, there are others who think my blog is worth reading. I have 47 subscribers, according to Google Reader, and that number increases regularly. Thanks to all of you who take the time to read through my aimless ramblings! My blog was also nominated for an award over at the Utah Baby Guide, which is fun.
And let's not forget that I earned 69 cents last month from my ads. That's gotta be encouraging.
This is what I am telling myself after a horrible yesterday. I actually spanked one of my children. That's about the worst thing I can imagine so I am naturally blogging about it. I don't believe that spanking is effective in most circumstances. There have been a couple times when my oldest was so emotionally out of touch with reality that a swat on the behind really snapped him out of it, but in general I think it's a really cruddy thing to do.
The kids and I had a rough day yesterday. Rough. About three thousand time outs for each of them--even sweet little Elijah who is so well-behaved. By the time my husband got home, I ran out of the house screaming and swearing I'd never return. Well, technically, I just gave him the status report and went to my singing lesson. Then I took some much-needed "ME" time and spent a couple hours at the temple. I came out refreshed, invigorated and ready for one more day of Mormon Motherhood.
I woke up this morning to cranky, demanding children and immediately started putting kids in well-deserved time outs. Again. Then I realized that even a few hours in the temple couldn't make one more day like yesterday bearable. So I made a decision: I have amazing self control. I will not yell at the kids. I will not lose my temper. I will not run to the pantry for chocolate because I need to cope. I will be an example of patient virtue and love. When the kids act up, they will be disciplined in a patient, loving, unemotional way. I have amazing self control.
After making that conscious decision, the day has gone more smoothly. The kids are still talking all over each other and questioning every single thing I say ... deep breath ... but they are mirroring my calm mood and catching themselves before they really lose their tempers with each other. I'll take every small victory I can get. This makes life go from "unbearable" to "survivable." My eventual goal is to make summer vacation actually "enjoyable" but I am not holding my breath quite yet. Baby steps... baby steps...
I love your affirmations! You ARE beautiful and TALENTED and IN CONTROL. I was just recently talking to my husband about speaking out loud to ourselves in the morning. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteWay to go! This is the best way to approach life. When we keep on reaffirming to ourselves about how wonderful we are..our kids watch and practise it in their own life. Their sense of self worth is determined by how much we value and appreciate ourselves!
ReplyDelete"Dont wait for your kids to reach the moon and the stars. Set your own goals with positivity and confidence and and they will follow your example."
Thanks!
I needed some encouragement from a Mormon mother for sure. You see, we were just confirmed into the church last Sunday and this has been probably one of the worst weeks I've had in awhile. I'm trying to be a more loving, patient, and present mother but it's been rough. I think Satan has ahold of me trying to tell me I am not good enough for all I want in my life. Being new and having other influences in my life, I'd also say that "Satan" is my character defects, the faults of man,
ReplyDeleteI'm off on a ranting moment. I have too much on my mind.
It is so easy for me to see myself as a horrible mother and feel like everyone else is in control of everything. My craziness is out there for everyone to see and I'm so involved in my own insanity that I can't see what others deal with. I am distracted by my children jumping around in public place, grabbing everything they can reach, asking the same question over and over again until I can't think. I end up yelling and fearing I'm squashing their self-esteem. I don't want them growing up with a mom like I am. I need help.
I need a blessing to help me heal from my depression, anxiety, insecurities, and attention-deflicit issues. I am on meds for anxiety and depression, but I'm not sure it's working with all the anxiety I'm facing lately. I can't see my psyciatrist because I'm getting ready to move and I don't really care for the counselor I have to see in order to get my meds. I need a new evaluation to see if something physically needs to be done.
Is there someone within the church or chaplain, I can speak with and get a blessing from to help with all this? Thanks for listening to my "ranting and raven"
New Mormon in Transit:
ReplyDeleteRest assured that you're not alone. Everybody feels like this sometimes, but I know it is 1000 times worse when you are suffering from anxiety and depression. I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I can assure you that there is peace to be found. Be patient. Be faithful. Pray with sincerity, if you can. (Depression and anxiety make it hard to really FEEL close to the Lord sometimes...) My life started turning around when I got a blessing from my Bishop. Go talk to your new Bishop and I promise you can find peace. Good luck.
I've been on the lookout for other Mormon mommy bloggers. I found you! thanks! check me out: http://meredithtuttle.blogspot.com
ReplyDelete:)
Fascinating hub. It never ceases to amaze me how much power your mind can actually have over your body! I love what you wrote about how you should never say "I want."
ReplyDeleteSelf Esteem Affirmations
Yes, affirmations can feel silly - and the Stuart Smalley character on SNL definitely added to that - but they can be powerful and we should all give ourselves permission to practice them regularly. Here's an article that might be helpful:
ReplyDeleteArticle on Positive Affirmations