Very Important Message

I have relatives (who shall remain unnamed) who regularly send me emails on subjects which they feel are very important: the latest bill that congress is about to pass which will endanger the free world as we know it, horrible computer viruses which are going to create a second ice age, etc. Not that there aren't real causes for concern in the world; I just don't believe that most legitimate concerns are discussed and resolved in the realm of spamlike, extremist, panic-inducing emails.

Those petition ones really get me the most. Let's say person A sends an email to B, C and D asking them to sign their name at the bottom and then forward on. Logic goes, eventually this petition will make its way all around the internet and end up on some ashamed congressman's desk who will immediately storm into the capital demanding change.

First email sig line:
A
After the friends each sign:
A, B
A, C
and
A, D

Already we have a discrepancy on our hands! The three friends never signed the same "petition!" Then it just gets worse:

A, B, E
A, B, F
A, B, G
A, C, H
A, C, I
A, C, J
A, D, K
A, D, L
A, D, L

Imagine how convoluted this would be after it's been forwarded 10 times. Or 100. Or 1000. And it will just keep getting forwarded forever, annoying innocent people like ME.

So I'm begging you. Please. If you have my email address, use with caution. Do not forward me "petitions" to send on to congress. I will delete so fast the computer won't know what hit it. Do not warm me about the latest virus which I must not open(!!!!!!!). Do not ask me to send money to a family or government or corporation in need. I will not do so. I will send my charity dollars to places that I have researched on my own and really believe in.

If you want to send me something humorous, send it on! Something inspirational? As long as it isn't Bush-loving, "patriotic," rest-of-the-world hating, right-extremist inspiration, send it on! Here's a perfect example of what you SHOULD send to me. It is the inspiration for this blog entry. Enjoy:

http://info.org.il/irrelevant/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

(Thanks, Elle, for the link!)