You call yourself an author?
Yes, yes I do.
What kind of writer are you? The kind that doesn't write?
I furrowed my brow.
She continued mercilessly. Yeah, that's it. An writer that doesn't write.
I write, I muttered angrily.
299 words per week? And every week is the first chapter of some new project? That's not writing. That's just playing around.
She was baiting me and I resisted the temptation to give her a snarky response. Snark is my specialty. She wasn't going to let me off the hook, though, so she pushed me. She reached her arms out and pushed me.
I stumbled.
This is the funny part: the stumble. Because the entire conversation was an inner dialogue with me and my Writing Conscience. It began about 30 minutes ago when I could have sworn I saw Brandon Mull (the NYT bestselling author of the Fablehaven series) dropping off kids at my elementary school. Impossible. Is my brain playing tricks on me? Or is my inner writer demanding attention?
Fine. She had my attention. She started arguing with me. I wanted to go shopping. She wanted to get home immediately to get in some time writing. She won that debate but she knew I'd get distracted with housework or crafting or blogging ... ahem.
So she pushed me. Taunting me with maliciously accurate insults first. Then she reached out her arms and pushed me. Granted, my writing conscience is made of Imaginary Friend (err, enemy?) Vapor and an inner shove should be painless. So why did I stumble?
This is getting ridiculous. Tripped up by my own imagination.
There's a lesson there and I'd love to stick around and learn it, but I gotta go. I have some novels to pen.
John's keeping me on Snakes and Ladders until it is finished. I'm allowed to sneak in a few words here and there on sequels to S/L and short stories not in the universe, but mostly, he's riding herd on me until its finished and sent off to an agent.
ReplyDeleteBeing a mommy writer means it's all about times and seasons! Just don't give up, because you ARE a writer!
ReplyDeleteSo sympathize with you! I get it all the time when I really would like to get something else done. Then I go to sit down to write and my inner writer/editor/conscience yells at me to but nothing comes.
ReplyDeleteSometimes though, the stumbles are what get us back up and going on our stories. :)
You have it in you, you just need to let it escape. I was you three years ago. A new something every week, nothing completed ever. Now I am so close I can almost taste it. I think these winter projects are going to help you realize your potential! I'm proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog! I love it that you put yourself out there and you are REAL and hilarious. You make me feel normal :-)
ReplyDelete