One Perfect Day

Have you noticed that today is a perfect, beautiful day?

I noticed when I drove AWAY from my house for my doctor's appointment. I noticed it when I saw the blue skies and the silky, white clouds and smelled the clean air. I noticed it when the air around me was just the right temperature--not hot, not cold.

I noticed when I laughed with the nurses and told them how grateful I was to be out of the house. I noticed when the doctor waited patiently for my questions and gave me all the answers I wanted. I noticed when he said I won't go past 38 weeks (hooray!) and I realized that's less than two months away!

I noticed how today is perfect when I asked my OB if I could go to Sunday dinner at my Mom's house this week and he said YES! (He hesitated only slightly before answering.) I noticed again when I asked if he'll let me go for a car ride once a week and he said YES! I noticed when I told him my frustrations of how random things seem to make my blood pressure go up and he said reassuringly "that's just the nature of the disease" and to just keep doing my best.

I noticed when I had an ultrasound done right after my appointment with the obstetrician and I was startled to see a little, blurry face peeking at me from inside the womb. A face! Eyes, nose, beautiful little lips... and little fists curled up next to that beautiful face. I noticed when I felt her suddenly kicking me and then saw the little legs moving on the screen. Perfection!

I noticed when they measured her and all the measurements were exactly on track for my due date.

I noticed how beautiful today is as I walked the few feet into the hospital for my non-stress test and saw that beautiful blue sky again. I noticed my legs moving and working and I thought, "Hey, some day I'll be able to exercise again and I won't feel like a cripple my whole life." Optimism made the day beautiful.

I noticed how beautiful life is when I laid down in labor and delivery and my baby's heart rate was great and my blood pressure went way down as I laid in the hospital bed--no cares, no responsibility and in the exact place I want to be if anything is going wrong.

I noticed my beautiful nurse's smile and happiness and then an image flitted through my head and I could see her face with red, swollen eyes. I remembered that dreadful night before the twins were born and I somehow had to say to her, "You know, being here reminds me of the night before my twins were born. The woman before me died."

The recognition was instant and she said she remembered me now. "I was your nurse that night," she said. She told me that she had gone to my doctor and asked him--pled with him?--to delay my c-section until the next morning. It had all been too, too much for them already that day.

"Usually our job here is so wonderful," she said. "So much happiness. But then sometimes..."

I apologized for bringing up a bad memory and she said sincerely it was fine. She had been thinking about that night recently and wondering if it had been four years ago? Or five? My twins are five now. Enough said. I noticed how beautiful life is when she and I realized we're neighbors! She lives only a few houses away from my first house, which is just a quarter mile from where I live now. We chatted about common acquaintances and felt connected.

I noticed how beautiful life was when I considered how fragile life is--and how lucky I am to be alive and have a new life growing inside me. A beautiful little life about to begin.

I noticed when I took the long route to my car, walking around the doctor's office instead of through the building. I noticed the green, waxy tops of tulips that will grow, bloom and wilt while I am on bed rest. Once every week, I can leave my house for my weekly appointment and see the change. How beautiful.

I noticed when I sat in the driver's seat of my car and felt that gentle vrooom of acceleration that reminded me of how alive I really am. I smiled and remembered how much I love acceleration and speed, even though my life now is all about taking a break and slowing down. Next Monday, I'll feel that thrill of acceleration again as I make my way back to the office. How divine.

Life is beautiful. And today is a perfect day. Do you feel it yet?